The Rookie (The Bad Guys x Raccoon reader)

Bonus-The Maraschino Ruby

Wolf, Snake, and Julie were browsing through a convenience store when Julie came across a certain newspaper.

Julie:Dad, Snake, you might want to see this...

They purchased the newspaper.

Wolf:Look what the Chief said about us "The Ruby is safe from those Stupid, Lame and Stupid Bad Guys"?

Snake:Woah. Two stupids?

Julie:I know she spent years chasing us, but seriously?

Snake:Pretty petty, I know. Okay, I'm in.

They joined the rest of the group in the car. Snake then pulled out a push pop.

Wolf:Hey, did you pay for that push pop?

Snake:What? Do you want to see a receipt?

Cops almost instantly were on the scene.

Cop:Freeze!

Julie:Man, those guys are fast.

Wolf:Okay, let's do this!

Wolf began explaining the plan.

Meanwhile, at the museum, Chief Misty was guarding the ruby.

Misty:Ah ha! Gotcha! I knew you could resist after calling ya "stupid" twice ya...

The person with the ruby was actually just another officer.

Misty:Wait...Officer Bob? What are you doing here?

Bob:Said in the news report The Maraschino Ruby is possibly fake. And it does seem likes its made of candy.

Misty:Well of course it is. I made it myself. The real one is with me at all times. This was all an elaborate plot to catch The Bad Guys.

Bob:I thought gone good. But it turns out they were arrested earlier today.

Misty:WHAT?!

The both speed down to the station and the group minus Shark were sitting in an interrogation room.

Wolf:That's two stupids, too many, Chief.

Julie:Try to move your insults past the fifth grade.

Misty:I can't believe my eyes! How?!

Bob:They were arrested this morning for stealing a...push pop.

Snake:Allegedly.

Snake was licking the push pop, but put it away.

Misty:Ha HA! A crime is a crime! And YOU are guiltyyyy. Even if its for a minor legal infraction. Case Clooosed! I win! And you-

Shark then came in with a lawyer disguise.

Shark:Objection! Jude Lawson, Attorney at law. And I am outraged, OUTRAGED! To see my poor, frightened clients, interrogated, without their lawyer present, which I am!

Julie:Man I wish I had some popcorn for this.

Shark opened his briefcase up and pulled out a receipt for the push pop.

Shark:Exhibit A:A receipt for 79 cents! Thus proving that they are entirely innocent! Furthermore, planting a fake ruby for them to steal is called "Entrapment"! Which is an illegal crime.

Julie:Yeah. Thought you of all people would know that, Chief. How disappointing.

Shark:My thoughts exactly! Officer, arrest this officer!

Misty:What?! That is ridiculous!

Officer Bob cuffed Chief Misty.

Bob:It's true. Sorry. MAJOR legal infraction.

Julie was trying so hard not to laugh. Wolf dialed the phone.

Wolf:Chief, we won't press charges IF you'd like to retract a certain statement.

Chief Misty's face turned red with embarrassment.

A few hours after the group was released, Chief Misty was crying in her office. A new newspaper was dropped at the front door and Officer Bob picked it up.

Misty:We almost had them!

Bob:There there, Chief. On the bright side, the real Maraschino Ruby has been returned from the museum.

Misty:Wait...But I-but I didn't return the r-

She reached into her pocket and pulled out the push pop

Misty:Oh no no no...

When Wolf grabbed the phone, he snatched the real ruby from her pocket and the group snuck into the museum to return it.

Bob:I guess they're not so bad after all.

Chief Misty broke the push pop in half in her anger.

Misty:(Through teeth) Oh friggen dang it! AHHHHH!

Wolf, Snake and Julie got the latest paper.

Wolf:Look at here "The Ruby is safe from these not so stupid Bad Guys."

Julie:I can just hear the Chief having a temper tantrum.

Snake:Same.

Wolf:It was surprisingly easy.

Wolf pulled out the candy ruby.

Snake:Like taking candy from a large, and very angry baby.

Snake ate the candy ruby. The group then drove off.