My Link - A Story

Kills

The rest of my day off was spent with me and Flitz laying around on the couch not doing anything. Well, he did attempt to teach me how to play GTA V. The basics weren't too hard, but once we were able to get on the online server I went on an epic killing rage. "Oh girl, you must have anger issues. This is brutal." Flitz tried coaching me into killing everyone on the server. I had pissed everyone off so bad with constant kills that they finally must of said fuck it and just signed off. Which was pretty hilarious because right as I was getting bored with the game I got an alert in the bottom left of the screen. Anth0nyPadilla has joined the server. And yes, I did kill him. Over and over and over. He kept coming back trying to snipe me, but unlike Josh I knew how to double up and use the map to my advantage. I was having a grand time murdering him, when my phone started ringing.

I picked it up not looking to see who it was. "Hello?" "When did you turn into an epic murder?" "Oh you know just on my off days. I see you keep trying to kill me, and you are epically failing." "I know! I am starting to get pissed off." "Is that the only reason you called?" "What can I not just call and talk to my friends whenever I want?" "I mean you could, but we aren't really friends. You have said a total of like twenty words to me." It got awfully quiet after I pointed out the obvious. I looked at my phone to see if he had hung up on me, but he hadn't. "I'm sorry. I just didn't wanna get close to you and you turn out to be a crazed fan girl. I didn't mean to judge you so harshly." "I will forgive you of you do me a favor..." "Which is?" "Stop helping Ian with whatever he is planning. I don't wanna go out with him. I actually have um, how do you say, another love interest? So just tell him to stop." Anthony burst into laughter. "I have been telling him that this whole time, but he never listens!" I sat for a second thinking. "Ian's mom. Do you have her number?" "I'll do you one better, I have her panties! Hey-ooooh!" I shook my head in disgust. "Yeah, I know you have a freaky fetish about wanting to fuck your friends' moms. Do you have it or not?" "Yeah yeah. Calm your tits. I'll text it to you." "Thank you. I'll see you tomorrow at work. Bye!" With that we hung up and I waited for Anthony to text me the number. In the meantime, I grabbed my controller and started killing innocent civilians. Something about watching them run away screaming then murdering them and everyone watching, it just warms my inner psycho's heart. I laughed to myself. Anthony finally texted me the number and I started to have an internal war with myself. On one hand Ian had been a creeper from the start and was continuing to pursue me romantically, after I made it clear I didn't want that. But on the other, he was being really sweet. Nope I was with Wes and I made a promise to myself I wouldn't use this 'secret weapon' unless Ian continued to try and force his ideas down my throat. I was brought out of my thoughts and killing spree by Flitz squealing.

"Your channel has blown up almost over night!" I grabbed my laptop and looked. Sure enough, I had 10,000 subscribers and over a million views. I was kinda of curious as to what blew up my channel. I had three videos posted (the Mari vlog, Josh/shopping vlog, and playing games with Ian.) and I found what had made people find my channel. Ian had commented on all three of my videos and liked them. Do you know what that means? My videos were showing up under 'Smosh's 2nd Channel' liked videos. Damn it Ian! I told him I wanted to get popular at my own accord, but no he had to be a stubborn ass. I grabbed my phone and listened to it ring on the other line.

"Hello?" "What the actual fuck Ian! I told you not to do that to my channel. I want popularity on my accord and you have to go and mess with everything? Do you ever stop?" "I was just trying to help..." "If I wanted your help, I would ask for it! So stop." "I'm sorry." "You keep saying that, but you keep pushing me into things way too fast. I don't want the spotlight on me! This is the whole reason I don't wanna be here!" Ian was real quiet for a second. "If you don't wanna be here then just go back to the shit hole you came from. I'm pretty the people there don't want you as much as you don't wanna be here." I slammed my phone against the wall. How dare he throw that in my face! He thinks he knows me, but he doesn't. No one knows what I've been through.

One Monday during my junior year, I sat in my desk at school doing my work. I felt a tap on my shoulder. My teacher ushered me to gather my things and follow her. We made it to an office where all the administrators had gathered. "Lauren, I'm so sorry for your loss. Your dad will be here soon to pick you up." "What are you talking about?" "Your brother Jake, he was in a car accident this morning." Wait Jake? No, I saw him this morning and he was okay. This had to be a mistake! My teacher grabbed my shoulder, "I am so sorry for your loss." They had to have to all wrong. My brother, my best friend, and the guy I grew up looking to for guidance. I grabbed my bag and left in a fuss. I walked right into my dad, who looked extremely distressed. "No! NO! NO THIS ISN'T HAPPENING TO ME!" I broke down, I couldn't believe this was happening to me. I had just seen Jake this morning talking to him about him going to sign up summer semester at the local art college. My mom blamed me for Jake being gone, saying if I hadn't have interfered with his life he would still be alive. I guess she was right. Jake had been the popular guy, the star athlete. He had been signed to play football with a full ride scholarship at University of Alabama. He didn't wanna go, so he had declined the offer saying he wanted to take a year off to 'discover himself'. The University had recently called the house and offered again, mom made it so Jake couldn't say no. I had a conversation with Jake asking what he actually wanted. He wanted to draw and be a graphics designer. I helped him find a local school to sign up for a few classes for the summer. I spent the next few days ignoring everyone. My mom had turned into a monster, getting in my face and reminding me that it was my fault. My dad finally made me go back to school, and that is when it all started. People stared at me, purposely making me feel uncomfortable. Then Brooklyn started picking on me, saying that it should have been me instead of Jake. I fell into the bad thoughts and just recoiled from talking to people unless I absolutely had to. But even that ended after I overheard my parents talking. My mom asked my dad a question that ruined my world. "Do you wanna keep Lauren?" "What kind of question is that? She is my daughter, why wouldn't I wanna keep her?" I heard my mom jeer. "She isn't going to amount to anything. I'd be surprised if she even graduates." "Why would you even say that? That is ridiculous! What the hell are you on about?" "If she stays, I'm leaving. I refuse to be around the worthless bitch that caused me to lose my son." From that second, I shut out everything. I was done with everything. The one person who brought me into the world, who is supposed to protect me, had left and wanted me dead. The next few months were spent in the endless spiral of darkness.

I didn't want it back but I couldn't fight it. I felt myself slip into the darkness. I got up from the couch, ignoring Flitz asking me if I was okay. I made it into my room and just locked my door, crawling into bed. I wished it was me. I didn't know what to do anymore. I was starting to believe what they said. I was worthless, stupid. Hopeless. Never going to amount to anything. I was just a lost cause.