My Link - A Story

Seeing the Light

I stood there frozen. As he walked towards me, I started to cry. I couldn't shake the horrible thoughts from my mind. I closed my mind and tried so hard to not remember, but my mind took me back.

I stood on the edge, looking down in to the dark depths of the lake. I had thought this through, I had never learned to swim. Mom never took the time to take me to lessons, she was too busy with Jake. Now mom was gone and I knew dad was miserable. I was just a burden on my own parents. Doing this would save their marriage and they could start over, forget I even existed. No one would care. I hated ruining everything, my family. Jake's family, they didn't want me. I was just the girl hidden under the shadow of her older sibling. As I felt the cold night air around me, I looked over the edge and took my last breath before jumping into the freezing cold water of the lake. I tried not to struggle as I felt my chest tighten. Water filled my lungs and my body relaxed as I opened my eyes one last time in the water. I saw the light and then darkness. I knew this was the end. I was tired of the hurt and pain. I felt relief of letting go. I heard a faint beeping. Is this what dying is like?

I felt my body jerk and I heard a man's voice as my eyes jolted open. "She's alive!" God damn it! Why did these people have to ruin everything for me! I looked around at the nurses and doctors. I was connected with all sorts of wires and tubes, I started jerking them out. I didn't have the will to live and they needed to stop helping me! I yanked another tube from my arm and tried to get up. The nurse came in and realized what was going on. She called for help and everything was a blur. They had to restrain me and I don't remember much because they kept me in a zombie like stage so I couldn't resist their help. For what seemed like weeks I laid in that bed barely living. My dad came and sat with me every day, talking as if I was going to respond. "The doctors say you will be fine, but you will have breathing problems because of the damage done to your lungs. I love you Lauren, I hope you know that. I just want what's best for you." He didn't love me. He would end up just like mom, not wanting me anymore. He should just let me die. That's all they want anyways. Surprisingly my mom came to see me. "You can't even kill yourself. I wished they would have just let you die." I knew how she felt, I had wished the same. "I'm so-s-sor-ry." I mumbled at my mother. She slapped my face. "Don't speak to me! You killed my son you bitch, you are so worthless." After that she left, leaving me alone with my thoughts and the quiet beep of my heart monitor.

I had found out that a guy about my brother's age had been jogging around the lake that night, and saw me jump and came to my rescue. He was a nice guy for doing that, but not was not worth doing it for me. Two weeks passed and they let me go home, suggesting to my dad to send me therapy, which dad left up to me and I decided against it. I found out that the guy who saved me was named Braydon and we went to school together. It was a few weeks before my life went back 'normal' and that was all I could hope for. Brooklyn still made fun of me and people still stared and whispered. I was putting books into my locker when I heard someone behind me. "Hey Lauren, I was wondering if you were free this Friday and wanted to go see a movie." I agreed and the rest of the week went by as a blur.

Braydon picked me up from my house and I got in his truck and we started driving. He parked in front of the theater and pulled me into a hug. I felt a prick in my neck. I started to feel weird, but didn't think anything about it. I opened the door to the truck to get out, only to collapse on the ground blacking out. The things I remember after that are a horrible blur of things that would make a person insane. I woke up on my front lawn beaten, bruised, broken, and stripped of my innocence. I wanted to die when my dad found me.

I was brought out of my horrible memory by his hot breath on my neck. "How about I finish what I started?" I saw what he was talking about, he had a knife pressed to my stomach. I knew this was it. I couldn't run. I had to pray for something. "Hey Lauren do you have my-What the hell?" Wes was what I prayed for. He jumped towards Braydon, grabbing for his knife. I screamed as I saw the blood on Wes, but he kept fighting. I ran into the kitchen reaching for the house phone and dialing 911. The two men had moved the fight into the hall now, but Braydon stopped as Josh came out of his room with a gun. I crouched down and covered my ears. I heard the shot ring through the house and Wes crawled over to hold me. I don't know what happened after that, but paramedics were checking out Wes' wound and the police were arresting Braydon. Josh pulled me to the couch and into a huge hug. "I would never let anything happen to you." I gripped on to Josh like he would disappear if I didn't. I just cried into his shoulder. Why did everything happen to me? I felt like I deserved this, but I didn't know anymore. My own family didn't want me, but all the guys and Mari treated me so great. God damn it I was so confused. I felt another set of arms around me. Wes pulled me away from Josh, holding me close to his chest.

"A thing that doesn't change is the memories of your past, but believe your strengths. Because I believe in you."