Seasons #1

Sage

I read the letter Azrael gave me and sit on my bed speechless. He's giving me a chance I hope.

You really want to help me? I need you to know that I'm not like you're other friends. I'm a trauma survivor and I have to live with it everyday. It never goes away. If you want to be a friend to me, you have to be patient with me. I've had to learn to 'live' all over again since my childhood. If you want to talk meet me at the café. I wont explain it all but I'll try my best to accept your friendship. - Azrael

His handwriting is neat and proper. I read the note over and over again. I change my outfit, grab my keys and head to the café where I saw him for the first time.

***

I walk into the little café and there he is sitting where he was the first time I saw him here. He looks up and sees me. I walk over and sit across from him. "Hi."

"Hi." He replies looking down. "So I assume you read it."

"Yeah. I did." We both stay silent for a moment. "You said you would talk about it with me."

He sighs. "Some of it not all of."

"Why not? That's the purpose of talking about it."

He slaps his hand down on the table, making me flinch. "I said not all of it." He moves his hand off of the table. "I'm sorry." He says quietly, looking down.

"Its okay. You're okay. I understand."

"Do you really? I don't think I understand it myself."

I look at him confused. He looks up at me and smiles but only half the smile shows so it looks like a smirk.

"Its complicated. I don't want to talk about. I will answer your questions but nothing about my trauma please."

I smile softly at him. "Are you okay? Like truly."

"No. I'm not. I haven't been for a while." His blue eyes look sad.

"I'm sorry." I reply.

"You don't have to be."

"I feel sorry for you I can't imagine what you went through to cause this much pain for you."

"I manage it. Its not easy, but I've learned to live with it." He looks down.

"Can I ask how old you were when this all happened?"

He stay silent for a few minutes before replying. "Twelve."

"I'm so sorry." I reply.

"Please stop saying sorry. This whole conversation shouldn't even be happening. I - I'm sorry I have to go." He stands and walks out of the café. I run after him.

"Azrael, wait! Please. Just give me a chance." I yell at him.

He turns to face me. "I can't even give myself a chance!" He yells back. "Everyday I have to force myself to get up and live like a normal person! It sucks. I hate it. I want it all to end." I hear the break of sadness in his voice. "Its getting to be too much. I want to just end it all." I hear the tears before I see them slide down his red face.

"I want you to know that I am here for you. Accept it please. You need it." I reply.

"Don't tell me what I need! I don't trust anyone. I'm too fucked up for you. You don't want me to be your friend. I'm not a good person to be around." He walks away and I don't stop him this time.