Seasons #1

Sage

I want Azrael to trust me. I want him to feel safe around me. Why do I care so much about him? Why do I feel the need to help him?
***
"Why do you care so much about him, I'd he doesn't even want your help? It sounds me to like he just wants to be left alone." Ava says after I explained last night to her. She's looking at her outfit in my wall mirror and smiles to herself.
"Because he needs help. He needs someone to be there for him to remind him that it's okay." I reply.
"And how do you know that? He doesn't want you to help him. He doesn't want anyone to help."
"I see it in his eyes. I see the pain and the need for someone to reach out to him. He wants the help he just doesn't know how to accept it. I feel like something really bad happened to him as a child and that's why he is the way he is."
Ava turns to look at me with a shocked look on her face. "Do you - You don't think he's an abuse victim, do you?"
"What makes you think that?" I reply, surprised she would ask something like that.
"He hurts himself, he always looks terrified around other people. He always looks so sad it's pitiful." Ava turns back to face the mirror. "I watched my neighbor go through it when she was a kid. He shows the same signs of abuse that she did."
"You can't assume something you don't know, Ava. That's a big thing to assume about someone's life."
"He talks to you, ask him about it."
"I can't just go up to him and say hey are you a victim of abuse."
"Yes you can. You build his trust and ask him. It's not that hard."
"It's a lot harder than you think." I frown to myself.
***
Azrael isn't in the class the next day so I assume he's absent, but later that day I see him in the hallway talking to the school counselor. She takes his hand and leads him into her office. I walk by the door to try to hear their conversation. I stand by the side of the door and listen.
"I feel so fucking useless. I don't even feel human at this point. I want it all to go away. Even my therapist is struggling to help me at this point." The sadness in his voice is still there.
I don't even bother waiting for the counselor to reply. I walk away quickly so I don't have a chance to cry.
As I turn the corner I almost run into Zach. "Sorry."
"It's fine." He replies. "Are you okay? You look like you're about to cry."
"Yeah, I'm fine. I just have a lot on my mind. I'm fine though." I try to move around him but he steps in front of me.
"Listen, I don't know what's wrong with Azrael, but I don't want you around him. I don't want him hurting you, okay?"
"You're in no place to tell me who I can't be around. He's not going to hurt me. He's just - I don't know, but he's not like that."
"He threatened Ryan, Sage. What is that to you? Your own friend feels unsafe around him."
"Ryan stopped being my friend when he humiliated Azrael in front of everyone."
"You care more about a fucking freak than you do your own friends? Who are you, Sage? I don't know you anymore."
"I care about people who care about me! You only care when it benefits you!"
"He doesn't care about you, Sage! He doesn't even know you! Open your eyes, Sage. Look around you, no one cares about him. You shouldn't either. He's just a freak who can't be helped. He's too far gone!" Zach looks up and his eyes widen. He steps back a little bit. I turn around to see Azrael standing there, a look of sadness and anger on his face. He closes his eyes and takes deep breaths.
He walks past me and whispers to Zach. "You need the help. Learn to watch what you say when the person you're talking about is near you."
Zach looks at him walk away then at me. "I told you, Sage. He's a freak." He whispers.
I sigh and push Zach out of the way. I fille Azrael outside. He walks around the building and sits down at one of the bench tables.
"I don't understand why you won't leave me alone." He says without looking at me.
"Because I care about you." I reply. 
"Why? No one else does, so why do you? You don't even know me."
"Can I sit?" I ask.
"It wouldn't matter if you did or didn't." He replies. I hear the irritation in his voice.
I walk over to the table and sit across from him.
"What happened to you?" I ask quickly.
He looks at me and I see the shock in his eyes. "I - It's not your place to ask me that."
"You're right it's not, but I'm curious about you. How can heaven create such a beautiful soul and let it hide in sorrow?"
He looks up at me. He looks so sad. "My soul is far from beautiful. Heaven stopped caring about me when it let my life fall apart. I stopped caring when I watched someone I tried to love hurt me and the person I cared so much about. So why should I care about anything when nothing cares about me?"
"I'm sorry. I wish you would see that I care about you, Azrael. I really do. Why won't you let me in and give me a chance? I don't know what you went through and I won't know if you don't tell me and let me be here for you."
He looks down at the table. He puts his hands over his eyes. "I survived my fathers abuse. For ten years I watched him be so cruel to my mother. I watched him abuse her every damn day. For ten years I took the abuse when he felt like she couldn't. It got worse the older I got. He started focusing on hurting me more than her. On my twelfth birthday, he came home from work and tied me to a chair in the basement. I stayed there for hours before he brought my mother down there. He tied her to a chair as well. He put a blindfold over her eyes. He took off his belt and told me to watch. He told me to count every time the belt hit my mother's body. He told me that if I screamed he would hit her harder. I counted each hit, I cried more and more each time the belt came down on her. I cried so much that I made myself sick. I still counted though. I counted until I heard her scream. I watched her take her last fucking breath. She screamed my name. My father untied her and let her body fall to the ground. I scream as loud as I could. My father turned to look at me and hit me over and over again. He told me that I ruined his life. I don't remember anything after that. All I remember is hiding for days under my bed until I was coaxed out and taken to Meredith. I now live with her at a home for troubled kids. I went through four foster homes before they gave up on me. They said I was too much to handle." He takes a deep breath and leans over the side of the bench. He throws up several times before sitting up again. He wipes his mouth on his sleeve. "I gave up on myself after that."
I sit there speechless trying to process everything he said. I'm unable to even think about what he went through. "I'm sorry, I don't know what to say."
"It's alright. You don't have to say anything." He looks at me. He looks at me for a minutes before speaking again. "The only other person who knows what I went through, is my therapist. Meredith doesn't even know all of it. You know all of it. Sage Lanore knows my story."
The way he said my name sends chills through my body. Unable to contain my feelings I feel myself blush. I hide my smile with my hand. He pulls my hand away from my mouth.
"I've never seen you smile so big before. What's wrong?"
"Nothing is wrong. I just I feel like - I don't know." I smile again.
"You're so beautiful when you smile. It lights up your eyes." He smiles at me and I feel my face turn red again.
"Stop, don't tease me. I don't like to be played with."
"I'm not playing with you, Sage. Can I tell you something? Honestly it's nothing bad, but I need you to know."
"Sure." I reply.
"Ever since I saw you that day in the café, I feel this sense of safeness run through my body. I felt your positive personality and knew that you would be the one. I don't let anyone too close, but it's different with you and I don't understand why. I can't figure you out. It bothers me so much. It annoys me."
"I annoy you?" I reply. "And if I made you feel that why, then why were you so rude to me every time I tried to help you?"
"The way you make me feel annoys me, not you. And as for the way I acted towards you, is just how I am. I can't control my emotions. I don't remember what real love feels like anymore. You though, I feel it when I'm around you. It's like I'm not sad anymore when you're near me. I can't explain it, but I know it's there."
I smile at him. I put my hand over his and squeeze it softly. "Thank you for telling me, Azrael. Thank you for allowing me to be here for you. You're safe with me. I won't tell anyone."
He bites his lip and looks at my mouth. He looks up at me and my heart beats fast. He leans over the table and presses his lips to mine. He pulls away and smiles at me. The smile lights up his dark blue eyes. "Since you know me, I want you. I want you to be my safe space. I want you to be mine. Sage Lanore, I can't explain how I feel about you, but I know it's real. I know I can trust you and you're the first person I've ever felt safe with since I lost everything I had. Will you be my girlfriend?"
I sit there staring at him, speechless. This boy has so much pain and trauma. He's beyond normal. This boy who loves me without even knowing why wants me to be his girlfriend?
"Yes." I reply. "Yes I want you to be yours."