Book 1: Echoes Of The Past

Chapter 44 - **Shannon's POV**

**Sorry for the delay. Been feeling a bit lack luster about this story. I've also been very busy and was at a festival for 3 days last week.**

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I couldn't believe that Jay had shown up like that, completely unannounced.  I mean, my brother has done some crazy stuff, but flying up to Seattle, completely spur of the moment, just to try and ruin things between Ivy and I, was stooping to a new low, even for him.

I knew he had a soft spot for Ivy, but this just clinched it.

I was furious at him and I was so embarrassed for Ivy; especially by the way we were caught by Jay like we were.

I've been cockblocked by my brother before, and on tour its especially annoying, but Ivy looked so incredibly hot in the Gucci dress I'd chosen for her to wear this evening, that when she hopped on my lap after I'd pulled up at mine, I was fully down to fuck her in my Jeep.

That was. Until Jay appeared.

I knew shit was about to go down once he'd hopped on his High Horse and started acting like Lord O' Mighty, trying to preach at me like he does.

Ivy looked concerned as she saw things starting to get more and more heated between Jay and I.

I'd had enough by then, and knew I needed to remove myself from the situation before I really did strangle him, so I stormed off upstairs. Childish I know, but then again, wasn't the entire situation?

Jared could act like such a man-child sometimes, yeah I could too, but he could always take things just that one step too far.

Whilst I was upstairs, I heard Ivy sticking up for me, which was actually quite adorable. Usually, when it came to arguments between myself and my brother, girlfriends didn't want to know.

Maybe it's because we had all grown up together and he and Ivy had been best friends so she knew that she might have a chance in getting through to him.

I wasn't going to lie, it may have made me like her even more, hearing her stand up to him and putting him in his place. If there was anything my brother hated the most it was not to be in control.

Once their voices seemed to have dampened down to mere murmurings between the two of them, I decided to show my face again.

I always had a coffee before bed; probably not the smartest move to most people, but I wasn't most people and I always had that coffee before bed. It had become some kind of ritual, and strangely, I actually found that it did the complete opposite of what caffeine is supposed to do, and calmed me down, allowing me to unwind at the end of the day.

I made to go outside to go for a smoke whilst my percolator warmed up. I was trying to quit the damn things, I really was. I knew they weren't good for me, but they were still my vice for when times got stressful, and right now was definitely one of those times.

Ivy asked me where I was going and so I told her. I saw her wrinkle her nose when I told her. I knew Ivy hated me smoking.

It was then that my brother decided to open his big, goddamn mouth and spat out the words, "Maybe if you didn't lie to your girlfriend, you wouldn't have anything to be stressed about."

I could seriously have murdered him right there and then and Ivy witnessed a side of me that rarely showed itself. I snapped. I hated myself for allowing her to see that side of me. It was rare for me to loose my temper, but when I did, boy did I go for it.

Jared had a smirk on his face and I really could have punched it right off of it, but I didn't want Ivy to see that and managed to reign it in slightly.

I had him by the front of his shirt and slammed him up against my Living Room wall, when he shouted out, "Are you scared that Ivy will find out about your 'Dirty Little Secret'."

At first, I thought he had meant Ivy when he had talked about my 'Dirty Little Secret', but then I realised that he had meant Sofia.

I really hadn't thought much about Sofia. That was all in a past life of mine. I wish I could try to forget it, but unfortunately I couldn't because of my daughter, Lilly.

I never got to see Lilly half as much as I wished I could. Sofia and Lilly lived back in Bossier City, Lousiana. My hometown.

It had all been a stupid mistake and now a massive consequence because of that, now belonged to me.

Lilly was beautiful. She had Sofia's rich, exotic  looks and had my olive skin and defined eyebrows. She must be in her early teens now. The last time I'd seen her was at a hometown show when she was about 8.

I desperately wanted to see her more, bur my touring and constantly being on the road got in the way, and Sofia had also tried to blackmail me on numerous occasions.

I knew that if Lilly was exposed to my lifestyle and fame she would never have a normal life; not like any normal kid would anyway.

Shed be endlessly hounded by the Press and fans, maybe even stalked. The idea thay my own flesh and blood could be stalked, or worse, chilled me to the bone.

Because of this, I'd resorted to sending Sofia Child Support for Lilly every month and that was now about the only contact I had with the both of them, well, it was more that Sofia threatened to go public if I didn't pay her the Child Support.

Of course I wasn't going to argue, although, my heart clenched every time I thought of Lilly and I longed go hug her. I hated how it looked as though I was just another sperm donor father, when that fully wasn't true. I wanted to be so much more to her, and play a much bigger part in her life.

It also meant that she kind of was kept; as Jay had so nicely put it, as a 'Dirty Little Secret'. I hated that. I hated how dirty it made things sound.

There was nothing I wanted more than to show my daughter off to the world and shout her name from the rooftops.

I guess I had planned to tell Ivy about Lilly at some point. I knew I loved Ivy; I knew that from the very first moment I met her, but I guessed this would have all depended on how she felt about me and how seriously she was planning to take this.

Lilly wasn't a doll to be played with then tossed away whenever a prospective partner came into my life– we came as a package whether they liked it or not.

I hated Ivy finding out the way she did, she was completely blindsided and it had been totally unfair of Jay on the both of us, plus putting me completely on the spot.

He loved to watch me squirm. I wouldn't put it past him to make it his favourite past-time. He couldn't stand seeing me have something he wanted; that something or rather someone namely being Ivy in this case.

After I told Ivy everything, she made it really difficult for me to read her reactions. I wouldn't have said she was fully mad at me, but she coldly told me afterwards that she wanted to go back.

She did seem concerned that Sofia was blackmailing me, which I took for a good sign in that she was on my side with this.

I just hoped for my brothers sake that he had taken my word, and knew what was good for him, or I may have been about to finish off with him what I had started earlier.