Survivor Fanfic "The Perfect Win" - Jeff Probst

The Death

OMG last night was the best with Nick

it might've been better than the sex i had with rob... wtf

"DUM ASS LETS GET MAIL."
everyone was silent

"omg okay. PARVATI LETS GET MAIL."
she woke up and just like a mole, dug through the sand to get to me.
wtf

we started walking, the sun was kind today and brushed our faces

"it's so gorgeous.. i can make a poem about this.." parvati gleamed

"about having sex with the sunlight or something?"
my stupid ass asked

parvati rolled her eyes
"um anyways what did u want marg"

"it's not marg. and did u get the diaries yet? im rlly impatient"
"i got colton's"
(that was literally the one i wanted so yess)
"that's great"

his diary was rainbow and had dick stickers
"omg.. he rlly isn't attracted to girls.." i whispered to myself

i opened it and read the first few pages

(ever since i came to this dum island, i realized im bisexual. i never liked anyone more than i have Margarita.. i love her so much.. she got a phat ass like me!)

omg... he rlly is into me :))

I was too excited to i accidentally hugged parvati (ew creepy ass stalker girl)

she smiled and licked my shoulders

"stop only dawgy does that."
she started crying
i slapped her "SHUT THE FLUKE UP I HATE CRYING WHINY ASS BITHES LIKE U."

she cried even harder

i got so angry and let it get to the best of me.

i grabbed Parvati by the hair and dragged her to the ocean. I drowned her

"OH FLUKINF FUCK SHITTT DAMMM SHITTT FUCK NO"
i realized i murdered her.
i could go to jail.

i had to pretend she just drowned on her own

"GUYS GUYS GUYS WAKE THE FLUKE UP. PARVATI IS FUCKING DEAD"

"what. who?" everybody asked, waking up"

"you know! Fiona from shrek, fucking sloth walrus hybrid."

"OHHH." everyone realized

they all came and saw her dead.

"we need to tell jeff right now." kokopuff said.

I DECIDED TO MAKE THE BEST PLAN

"umm cirie don't u have a demon in u from time to time? i think maybe u killed her."

"hell no! the demon is sweet."

(is this woman stupid? the fatass literally chased me with a knife and threatened me with a spear."

"bitch don't even fucking start rn imma beat ur ass."

ciries eyes turned red, "you don't want to do that."

"FUCK FINE."

we went to our challenge cuz we were bored

"Why do u bitches look scared." jeff rolled his eyes

"ummmmm parvati died, dead ass."

"who?"

"yk shreks wife? kind of looks like a swollen and obese bat?"

"OHHH that parvati... well idk what to do? just let her sink."

i wanted to be innocent and cute so i asked jeff, "j-jeff does- this mean we don't have tribal?"