why me (kakashi x reader)

Chapter 8

It's been a while since Obito died. A lot happened since. 

Rin told Kakashi how she feels about him. Even though he was painfully in love with her he couldn't do that to Obito. He put some distance between both Rin and y/n. He was closing into himself again, as he did when his father passed away. 

After the mission y/n was in the hospital for 3 days. Kakashi spent day and night there, unsure what do to next. His all morals and principles were turned upside-down because of Obito. All he knew what to do now is walk a little behind y/n and Rin, just keeping quiet. 

He barely spoke to anyone outside of their team. He was still a little boy, not even with double digits to his age, but he was already wielding so much pain and skill. On one hand it's pitiful, but on the other is intriguing. 

With great power comes great responsibility, right? Kakashi was just learning about that. He was trying to get used to the Sharingan, improve his skills with it as well as learn new ones. 

Rin, Kakashi and y/n now were one of the usual 3-man squads. They never thought they would be a usual 3-man squad. It's better when there is an even number of members, no one is getting left out. Now, it seemed as if Kakashi was a third wheel. 

He was scared to open up about it, it made him feel weak. He doesn't like that feeling, after all, all he ever was an actor. Smiling outside, dying inside. It was only natural, once you're seen as strong you must never show weakness of any kind. 

There were things still keeping him at bay, keeping him as sane as they could. They were Rin and y/n, the only people still able to pull strings of his heart. Them being Chunin and him being a Jonin it was usual for them to go on missions together. Those were times to remember. 

Rin and Kakashi went on a mission. Y/n was injured from a solo mission she went on not so long ago. She was lying in the hospital, eagerly waiting for them to come back. They haven't seen each other in two weeks. She missed them both.

All of a sudden Kakashi barged into her room. He was still covered with dirt and bruises. Clearly just got back. But his eyes were saying a different story. They were red and swollen, he's been crying. Rin wasn't with him, it made her worry. 

He slowly approached her bed, shaking more with each step. 

"I- I couldn't- I couldn't keep my promise to Obito!" he cried falling to the floor next to her bed. 

A moment of realization hit her. Rin was gone, gone forever. Her best friend is dead, her best friend left her behind. Her best friend sacrificed her life way too soon. Her best friend, who was always there for her, who was like a sister to her, who was her ride or die, was gone. And there was no turning back. 

As tears slipped down her face she put one hand on Kakashi's head. The boy held his head up, his eyes were wandering her face, scared to look her in the eyes. 

"Look at me." she whispered. 

It brought him back. He looked into her eyes, those eyes he loves so much. Those dreamy eyes that always sparkled with joy. The eyes that calm him, the eyes that accept him, the eyes that remind him why he is still alive. 

Her face was overflowing with tears, she just wanted to sob it away, but she instead smiled softly. It surprised Kakashi. His eyes widened, stopping to cry. 

It was sundown, light hitting her bedroom. With her window open the wind was able to move freely. With her hair softly flowing, the sun masking all imperfections, she looked like a doll. A small smile on her wet face drew Kakashi in even more. 

"It's okay. You did your best." it's all she told him before turning away. 

"Let's promise one thing to each other..." she started with a raspy voice:

"Never leave my side and I'll never leave yours." she put her pinky out. 

"Always be with me..." 

Wrapping his pinky around hers in unity they said Always.

Kakashi was having nightmares since Rin passed away. He stayed in the hospital with y/n until she was discharged. Every night he would wake up showered with cold sweat screaming. She would always get up and sit next to him, humming her brother's tune until he fell asleep again. 

She didn't mind it, she was ready to die for him if she had to. He was her home, her comfort, her everything. Now without Obito and Rin, days were plain and lonely. They had to stick together to get through this. 

As she got discharged from the hospital Kakashi again started sleeping on y/n's couch. Every night being the same drill: fall asleep, wake up to terrified Kakashi, calm him down and back to sleep. After a week or so she decided to buy a more comfy thing for Kakashi to sleep on. 

"You know, if it'll help you sleep better you're welcome in my bedroom. I promise I don't bite." she tried to make the atmosphere lighter. It's been really gloomy lately. 

"Thanks, I'll think about it..." he said drifting away again. 

He's been absent a lot lately which worries y/n. What if he never moves on? What he becomes suicidal like his dad? What if he loses himself?

She would never be able to forgive herself. She wants to protect him, love him, nourish him. She wanted to be his everything, like he is to her. 

One day, she saw him standing in front of Rin's grave. All she wanted was to run and hug the boy. But she couldn't, not in front of Rin. She doesn't know if she is okay with that and she will never have a chance to ask her.

Slowly Kakashi went to visit Obito's grave too. As tears dropped down his face he was slowly leaving. At that moment y/n ran from behind and hugged him. Both of them crying, trying to heal and move on. One day those tears will dry out, the wounds heal and the scars fade, but until that day they have to be there for each other.