Tabaahi

16- Coincidence?

Nathan's POV.

"OLIVIA!!" I made my way to her room furious.

"What is wrong with you so early in the morning?!" she asked half asleep.

"Did you touch my diary?!" I was mad because it's really personal.

"No I did not Nathan! I have better things to do than reading words on paper seriously!" she said covering herself with her blanket.

It's not just words on paper for me. It's way more than that.

Who could have touched my diary then? I can clearly tell when someone touches it. The only other person I know is mom.

I made my way downstairs and saw her making breakfast.

"Mom"

"Yes my love" she turned to me.

"Did you touch my diary?" I asked right away.

"Of course not my love. I was just cleaning your room and it fell so I placed it back." she's lying.

She can't even lie properly.

"Did you read it mom? And don't even try to lie" I said.

"Just a bit" she admitted.

"Why would you do that? It's personal" I said.

"I'm sorry Nathan. It's just that I was worried about you and now I know why..." she said.

"What do you mean?" I was confused.

"You're still thinking about her. You still write about her...everything is about her son. Why are you doing this to yourself? Why are you holding on to someone who has left for good? Why? Why don't you go out and have fun like Olivia? Why don't you enjoy your youth? Does she matter that much to you?" she asked me.

Because I still love her.

"She's back. She has always been around. I'm turning 21 soon mom. Please stop worrying for nothing." I said.

"I can't stop. Because I care for you." she replied.

"And no need to clean my room. I can do it myself" I said before going back upstairs.

After five whole years, I can't believe I met her. She has changed but she still looks so perfect to me. It was hard to keep my cool. My breath was taken away as soon as our eyes met.

I was almost going to skip the conference. I was tired yesterday and I didn't feel like staying but my friend forced me to. Good thing he did.

Ugh. My heart is happy but I am really upset. And, I have this anger inside of me towards her.

She left me. That's all I think about ever since she was gone. Because I had hoped she would stay. For me, for Olivia, for everything mom did for her, for her friends. I thought we were equal to a family for her. I thought we were enough. But, I guess I was wrong.

She just left. I could've died. The surgery could've gone wrong. And, she wouldn't even know. She wouldn't even see me. To me, it was clear that our feelings were not reciprocated.

My heart could explode for her. I loved her more than anything. I just wanted her to be mine. I wanted everything in my life to do with her. And, she just went away after rejecting me.

I hate myself for still having feelings. For still wanting her. For still finding her so damn perfect. It's irritating knowing I can't do anything to make it stop.

***

I have an interview today. I am nervous. This internship is important to me.

Once I believed I wasn't going to make it to my twenties. I believed I wasn't even going to make it till university. I thought I'd never be able to do the things I like.