Through the dark

Decision

Brad had arrived not long after I'd gotten out of the shower. He didn't say anything just took his seat next to Greg and we watched tv drinking wine until someone mentioned dinner. Despite being hungry I tell everyone I'm headed to bed leaving them before they protested too much. It's not the nightmare that wakes me in the middle of the night it's Kate. I woke her with my screaming so she has come in to quiet me down.

"Hales you need to tell me what's going on and you need to talk to Louis. He's been blowing up everyone's phones calling and texting."

"I'm sorry I woke you. It's just stress causing me to have nightmares. I appreciate your concern but I'm fine or I will be. I'm not going to talk to Louis." I start to cry and she crawls into bed with me.

"Shh it's ok. Haley I know what that must have looked like but Louis wants to explain."

"Explain what Kate? That I wasn't his girlfriend and he didn't really cheat because we aren't even together?  I get it Kate.  It was my dream or I guess my delusion."

"Haley I get it your mad which you should be but it's not as bad as you think. Look let's get some sleep we can think better in the morning. I drank too much wine so my head hurts". She giggles and I laugh a little too.

With Kate next to me I slept until 9 when I woke up I finally turned my phone back on which may be a mistake as it just keeps buzzing with notifications. Most are calls from Louis, my mom, Melanie, Tim even Alberto and a few numbers I don't recognize.  There are a lot of texts too; the most recent is from Brad who tells me to work from home or take a sick day or whatever but he doesn't want to see me in the office.  Normally this would annoy me but between my nightmares and crying I don't have the energy to argue with him plus I don't want to see people right now.  I text my mom, Tim and Melanie all the same text that I just copy and paste "I'm fine!  Don't worry this too shall pass right.  No I'm not talking to Louis." 

Kate wakes up when I'm halfway through my makeshift breakfast of coffee and last nights pizza.  She slept an hour later than I did but still looks rough.  I would comment but it's partly my fault what with the screaming and then thrashing in my sleep.  She takes a cup of coffee mumbling something about just call him and she's going back to bed then shuts her bedroom door.  I've seen the text from Louis which are all varying degrees of pleas for me to talk to him, apologies and telling me it's not what I think.  I've considered texting him back to just leave me alone but it hurts too much.  I'm definitely not going to call him because hearing his voice may break me for good.  Instead I take out my laptop and dive into work. 

I answer my emails careful to sound extremely professional given half the office... ok likely all of the office gossip is about my losing it.  I need to make a few changes on a couple of proposals so that takes up a good portion of the week.  I tell Brad when he comes home that I will work from home the rest of the week.  At around one on Friday Kate had come out of her room looking like a movie star.  She decided it was better to be at work then here with me "wallowing" as she puts it. She picked up some shifts at the restaurant where she works part time so she'll be gone most of the weekend. Before she left she yelled at me to eat something other than cold pizza. I haven't really been eating much but I haven't wanted to. I decide she's right so I order a salad from the deli because frankly the pizza is gone now anyway.  When I heard a knock at the door I assumed it was my delivery.

"I bet you didn't expect me". Alberto says as I stand there my eyes nearly bugging out of my head

"No" that's all I could get out because just the site of him brings tears to my eyes.

"Hey hey Haley I'm sorry!  Louis really wants to talk to you...he's not here". He has to reassure me because I start to look around him.  "He figured I could come and ask you to call or answer when he does.  Look this is weird for me too and I've been traveling all day.  Do you mind if I come in?"