Say Please

Isolation

Saturday was spent mostly in a tear-filled daze, not because I was angry with Mark (and don't get me wrong, anger was the tip of the iceberg). I was angry with myself. I was disappointed in myself. I had let this go on—even when I knew what was happening. I let this man manipulate me into submission. This whole time he'd been fucking god knows who.

And I was sitting here most of the time upset at my daydreams of Chan, when that's all they were: daydreams. Mark had actually fucked that girl. Mark had continued to fuck other girls when he was with me.

I ran to the bathroom as the bile rose in my throat. The implications of his promiscuity made me sick to my stomach. Whatever he had been doing with those countless women was somehow now attached to me. What if he had a fucking STD from one of them? How could he be so selfish?

"Bri," I whispered as she answered her phone. "Can you come over?"

"Oh god what's wrong? Are you that hungover?" I began to sob. "Oh shit, okay I'll be right over. Send me your address." I did, and within ten minutes Bri knocked on the door.

When I opened it, her eyes went wide. I gave her a sad smile, attempting to cheer myself up.

"What happened?" She asked as she embraced me.

"Fucking Mark." My sobs began again. "I should've just stayed at your place. Maybe then I could've been blissfully unaware of the sack of shit he is."

"What did he do? Are you hurt? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I caught another woman in my bed with him. And I'd suspected he was cheating for years, but he always gaslit me into thinking I was being too crazy."

"No he did not. Are you fucking serious?" She pulled me into another embrace, this time not letting go as she continued to speak. "I hope you kicked him out for good. This is absolute bullshit. You deserve so much better. You should be out there fucking Chan."

"The worst part is that he made me feel bad about anything I could've done the moment I said that name. So here I was thinking that I'm a terrible person for being attracted to an attractive man..."

"Fuck Mark."

"Yeah," I half-giggled, "fuck Mark."

Bri stayed with me most of the day, thankfully, and was reluctant to leave after dinner. I assured her I would be okay, and that a couple days of tears would renew my strength.

Sunday I focused mainly on boxing up Mark's things and preparing my life for the upcoming week. I also ignored at least twenty calls from him. He could rot in hell for all I cared. After a line of texts from him about how sorry he was, I responded short and sweet.

Skye: Leave me alone. I need time. I'll leave your things outside the door. Don't come in.

I hoped he would at least follow my instructions then. I hoped he respected me that much.

——

Monday came, and as I opened the door to leave the apartment I saw that Mark had, in fact, let me have my space. The three bags I had packed were gone, and no trace of him was left in the hallway.

I rubbed my makeup-free eyes as I walked to Bri's desk. Her expression was full of worry as she took in my appearance.

"Skye, you don't have to be here, you know that right? Take a day if you need it. I'm sure Voss would let you work from home for a day, too." I dismissed her worries with a wave, subconsciously wiping my tears away as well.