Say Please

Stuck With You

 I looked at him with awe—stunned into silence. Did he say what I think he said? Was he lying? Was he joking?

"I said," he began again, brushing his thumb over my bottom lip, "I love you, Skye."

"I know you did... I just," I paused, my eyes searching his for any hint of uncertainty, "I don't know if I believe it myself."

"Well, let me spill my heart out to you," Chan began. "Do you want to know when I first thought I loved you? It was the moment I watched you stare out the hotel window in LA. The wonder and excitement in your eyes made me melt. You looked beyond beautiful. The free-spiritedness and joy in your eyes... it's like you're seeing everything for the first time—even if its a daily occurrence."

I glanced down toward my feet and bit down on my lower lip in hopes of halting any tears that threatened to escape. Chan continued.

"I knew I loved you when I saw how flustered you got when we were changing into our outfits that night. I loved you when I watched your cheeks turn a deep red even in the low lighting that night. I loved you when you told me you loved me."

"Why didn't you say anything? Why now?" I asked, the squeak in my voice a clear sign the tears were coming.

He lifted my face to meet his again. "Because you were drunk. And then you shrugged it off as if you didn't really mean it—like it was something impulsive and untrue. And then you never spoke of it again. But I've loved you, Skye. I was drawn to you the moment I met you—finger guns and all. I don't deserve you, I know. But I just want you to know that I am in this. I don't want to be anywhere else." He sighed at his final sentence.

"I—" My tears began. They began in nothing short of a river, a constant flow falling down my cheeks. "I love you, too."

"Also, I did it now because I wanted you to have his moment forever." Chan gestured to the rock my phone was still propped on.

This man was incredible. It's like he was written by a woman. He was caring, sentimental, gorgeous, (great in bed), and thought of little, romantic things that most others wouldn't even bat an eye over. I managed to wipe my tears away and look into his eyes. I was sure my eyes were tinged red, but I didn't care.

"Will you say it again?" I whispered.

"I love you," he grinned widely, cupping my cheeks once more.

"I love you, too," I responded, matching his smile.

——

Chan and I had dried ourselves with towels and warmed ourselves up with the sun before walking back to our campsite. While he did his best to light our campfire, I prepped a snack and seltzers for us.

"Ta-da!" Chan gestured to the flame the size of a baseball with excitement. "We have fire!" I giggled and threw a couple more pieces of wood onto the flame.

We sat next to each other in silence for a few minutes, digging into our array of crackers and fruit. I found myself in a daze as I watched the fire grow and grow as the wood began to burn in new places. The yellow flame burnt to a dark orange as it rose into the sky and crackled out of existence.

"This is nice," Chan mumbled from my side. "It's peaceful."

"The silence is wonderful sometimes," I replied, glancing to my right to meet his eyes. "It's a nice distraction from the hustle of the city. Even in the silence of the night in the city, its blaring compared to the silence out here."

"I agree," he responded. The sunlight flickered across his body as the treetops above us undulated against the slight mountain breeze.

"I used to drive out here all the time whenever I came home from college," I began. "I had a couple years in college that I dedicated heavily to poetry. I loved to read and write it. I feel so inspired to write beautiful words in a beautiful place. So whenever I was on breaks back here I would do my best to just sit and exist by myself." I hadn't told anyone that other than my parents. But, I felt like if anyone would know that feeling, it would be Chan.

"Dare I ask for a sample of your work?" He winked.

"You do not dare," I giggled back. "That shit is locked away like my ten-year-old self's diary."

"Fine," he rolled his eyes back dramatically, "but it's endearing to think about you out here alone. One of the things I love most about you is the way you capture everything with your entire being. It's beautiful."

I bit down on my lower lip to stop more tears from escaping at his casual use of the word "love." I didn't think I'd ever get over it—and I didn't ever want to.

"There's just something so alluring about the peacefulness and raw beauty of our world semi-untouched by people," I started. "I could talk for hours and hours about it. As a kid I always loved going outside when the power went out because the sky would look so beautiful with none of the light pollution. I imagined a lot as a kid what the world looked like a few hundred years ago—what the sky would've looked like if I were to stargaze then." I paused and glanced at Chan, who eyed me intently. I continued. "The first time I came here was a clear night, and that dream sort of became a reality. I've never witnessed a more gorgeous and untouched sky. I will always come back here."

"I'm thankful that I get to share this experience with you, then," his mouth twisted into a sweet smile and he wrapped his hand over mine.

Before we realized the time, the sun dipped low into the sky and my stomach growled with hunger.

"What are we cooking?" Chan asked, rubbing his hands together.

"Well, we have a pan, so the world is our oyster! Potato hash? Hot dogs? Grilled cheese? I think we packed enough food for two weeks here, honestly."

"What's your go to camping food?"

"Well I grew up eating hot dogs right off a random forest stick. Wouldn't recommend. The little shards of bark don't taste that great. Let's make potatoes!"

"On it!" He jumped up enthusiastically and went to the cooler in our trunk. I let him chop them into smaller bits, along with onion, bell peppers, and mushrooms. We worked surprisingly well together at this whole cooking thing. He poured them into the pan that sizzled over the fire. Soon enough, we were enjoying natures finest hash.

"Why does it taste so delicious?" Chan glanced over at me with his mouth full. "It's so good!"

"The ambiance always makes food better," I responded, matching his dramatics by gesturing to the trees that enveloped us. He nodded and swallowed the next giant mouthful.

"We should do this more often." Chan spoke after a few silent moments. "Like, do this at least three times every summer."

"Thinking in years now, are we?" I grinned. My stomach fluttered at his recommendation. Years with Chan. I could have years with this man.

"Well, I mean I told you I loved you. And I meant that. And now you're stuck with me for as long as you want, Skye."

"I think I like the sound of that," I winked, hiding the flutters that grew in my belly. Could this man be any more perfect? I knew we were still in our 'honeymoon' phase, but I also knew that this relationship would never become something like Mark and I had. Chan was open with me and wanted the same in return. Above all else he wanted to make me comfortable, and both his words and actions showed that.

I loved him.