Say Please

The Morning After

My eyes were pulsing, my head was spinning, it felt like every hair on my head was being pulled at the same time. Water. That was the only word on my mind. I turned to grab my phone off the nightstand and saw a large glass of water and Advil waiting for me. I chugged the glass and took the pills, silently thanking Chan for the kindness he provided.

Chan. Oh shit. Flashes of our lips meeting and his hands gripping me in so many places he'd never had before danced in my mind. How was I going to face him after last night? Don't get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoyed the time we spent together, and I could feel—fuck, did I feel—he did too. It's just that I had never gone down this path before. We worked together, and I had no idea how this would effect our work dynamic.

I glanced down at the dress I was still wearing. I pulled the fabric over my head and threw on the large t-shirt I had planned on wearing to bed. I glanced at the clock: six thirty. Chan had to still be asleep. It was way too early for either of us to be awake, but my body just liked to torture me.

I slipped out my door and tiptoed into the kitchen—coffee and a breakfast menu on my mind. As quietly as I could, I put the grounds in and set it to brew. I scanned the living room while I waited, eyeing the spot where everything changed last night. What had come over me? I didn't know whether to thank the alcohol or scold it for it's help in reaching the heights we did last night.

Suddenly, I remembered Chan's words that I drifted off to sleep with last night. I don't think I can go back to how things were... What did he mean by that? Was that... good? Bad? Too much was left unsaid for the clarity I required.

I shook my head and centered myself back to reality. I opened the various cabinets in search of a coffee mug, and found them on the top two shelves above the coffee machine. I reached for one, standing on my toes for a better reach.

"Good morning," cooed the Australian accent I was now quite fond of. I startled, almost dropping the ceramic mug on the floor. I set it down gently and turned.

There he stood, in a white cropped shirt and dark gray sweatpants. Between the hem of his shirt and the start of his sweats, I saw what I longed to touch.

"Um, hi," I replied shyly. I turned a deep shade of red as I realized what he had seen. Standing still, my shirt barely covered my underwear. If he had come out while I was reaching for the cup, he most definitely had a view of my entire ass. "I made coffee," I said, attempting to change the subject in my own mind.

"I see that," he grinned mischievously, his eyes scanning my body.

"I, uh, also was thinking about maybe ordering breakfast." He sat at the small table and opened the directory, flipping to the room service section.

"What do you like? Looks like they have eggs benny, seasonal fruit, pancakes, waffles, more." I walked over and glanced at the menu. I stopped on the "French toast pancake stack" and told him to order me that. As he ordered (he got an eggs Benedict for himself), I made us both coffee and set the steaming mugs on the table. I slipped into the seat beside him, careful not to have my shirt ride up too much.

I tapped my fingers methodically on the table, willing myself to speak first about last night. It was something we both wanted (that I could tell) but shouldn't do again. And, did the alcohol have an influence on him? In the light of day does he have the same urge?

"So last night—" he began, but I interjected.

"Yeah I'm so sorry. I was very drunk. It's embarrassing. Sorry."

"You don't have to apologize," he smiled, his eyes creasing with kindness. "You were cute, and beautiful, and sexy, and..." he took a sip of his coffee while he thought of his next word, "... tantalizing."

I blushed further, "er, thanks. You too?" I took a slug of my coffee, trying to find any words that made sense. "But I don't know if this should happen. The work dynamic could shift and I just... I need to shower. Can we talk about this later?"

"Of course," Chan sighed, "we should probably get ready for the long day ahead of us anyway."

We quietly went our separate ways to get ready while we waited for our breakfast to arrive. I threw on a loose dress and flats, and quickly put the top half of my hair up in a ponytail. I had scrubbed most of my makeup off in the shower prior, but small rings of black remained. Thankfully, a quick swipe of the provided makeup towel fixed things up. I decided it would be a makeup free day—with all our running around we were supposedly doing.

"Food's here," Chan called from the main living space.

We ate in relative silence, occasionally discussing the events we were each going to throughout the day. Together we would go to two seminars on how to build networks and find new, fresh clientele. We would part ways for some of the day while Chan went to editor-specific meetings and I to marketing discussions.

"We can meet back up at four and head to an early dinner if you want. I know our fancy night out is tonight at ten, so that should leave ample time for you to prepare yourself mentally."

"Is it that obvious I dislike people?" I laughed, thankful for the lack of awkwardness between us.

"I can tell you get nervous when you're in an unfamiliar situation." I quietly ticked another box in my brain. Mark had never really thought about my anxiety that much. He would say things like "there's no need to be nervous" and "you're overreacting." Chan thought of me immediately. Even if his comment was filled with sass, I appreciated the fact that I was in his mind at all.

——

As fun as I thought the convention was going to be, I found myself dragging my body through the boardrooms and large rooms all day. The opening seminar was dull—so dull I felt like pulling my hair out. Luckily, our breakfast had helped my hangover disappear.

The entirety of the seminar was mainly a workout for me: one that involved me not letting the random brushes of Chan's fingertips or knee get my heart pumping. Occasionally his hand would precariously fall onto his thigh, with his knuckles grazing my exposed, outer thigh. He would stretch his arms across the back of our row of seats—accidentally touching my shoulders as he did so.

My first solo seminar involved different websites and apps that were user friendly ways to engage various groups—old and new. I sat quietly in the back corner, half-listening to what a chunky, balding man was spouting at the podium.

"This is so boring, right? Not just me?" The male next to me whispered. He was thin, tall, with strikingly blonde hair that contrasted his green eyes well.

"No this is... dense," I laughed in response.

"I'm Ben," the stranger grinned. "I work for RedLight Publishing out in Chicago. What about you?"

"Skye, Cloudy Day Publishing in Seattle." We shook hands.

"Tell me about yourself. Anything to get me away from this nonsense," he gestured toward the front.

"Well I went to Yale, moved back to Washington, um..." The buzz of my phone stopped me briefly.

Chan: Do you care where dinner is?

Skye: Not really. You said I shouldn't worry about the little things right? Surprise me :)

Chan: Got it!

I had forgotten about dinner. Hopefully he wouldn't pick something extravagant—although we were using the company credit card for all this. On the other hand, I hoped we weren't dining on the street corner with greasy hotdogs.

"Sorry, anyway, I'm actually pretty boring," I giggled, "what about you?"

Ben didn't seem to mind my pause, and continued on to tell me about his schooling and specialties. I allowed him to brag and half-listened. In the back of my mind, last night still played over and over. We hadn't even done much, but any touch from Chan at this point sent my body into a frenzy.

I said my goodbyes to Ben and went to find Chan at the front entrance of the conference center. As I spotted him, my heart leapt. Uh oh, I thought to myself, that's not good. I was already feeling this way about a man I had barely met a month or so ago? How did he have such a hold on me? And how stupid could I be to mess with my work life this much?