Say Please

New Beginnings

I wanted to stay like this forever. I wanted to feel like Chan and I were the only two in the world. I didn't want to go back to the usual work schedule. I didn't want to go back to an apartment separate from him.

I didn't know how to tell him that.

I didn't really want to tell him that, yet.

He'd shown me that he was very interested in me, yes. But, with men I could never really trust the thoughts they put on display. I felt like I couldn't trust what anyone said to my face. I felt terrible; Chan was an amazing man and had given me no reason to not trust him.

When we touched down in Seattle, I felt a small wave of panic wash over me. This was over. This weekend tryst with Chan would end and we would have to go back to our normal routines and interactions. It broke my heart.

"You seem upset," he whispered to me as our town car pulled off the freeway, "what's wrong?"

"Nothing," I lied, "I'm a little queasy from the flight, that's all." I gave him my best smile and pat my belly. He looked wary, but nodded.

As the car pulled up to the curb of my apartment building, Chan grabbed my wrist with care. I turned to see his deep, brown eyes studying me with care.

"I had a great time this weekend, I hope you know that." He squeezed, sending a jolt of both happiness and sadness through me.

"Me too," I croaked, attempting to hide the liquid pooling in my eyes as best as I could. He released my wrist and I headed back to normalcy—if that was even possible at this point.

——

Don't cry. I reminded myself as I began to throw the soiled clothes into the washing machine. That was the tenth time I had to remind myself. I kept slipping into madness at the thought that I would never be with Chan like that again. Somehow I would have to force myself to become his coworker only again.

But, I loved him. It would be a hard feat to see him in any other context.

After a few more hours of busy work and countless reminders not to break down, I had showered and was ready for bed. As I tucked myself into my comforter, an overwhelming need ran to my core. This was the first night in a few days that I hadn't had anything... er, exciting, happen. I pictured what my previous night had consisted of after the ending ceremony: naked bodies, his pleasure, my pleasure, tangled up as one.

I could feel my heartbeat thrum between my legs. Before I realized what I was doing, I had grabbed the pink vibrator from the end table drawer and dipped my hands under the blanket.

I shut my eyes and not-so-sexily wriggled my underwear down to my ankles.

buzz! My phone chimed from the nightstand. I waited a moment—contemplating whether or not to answer. It could be Bri asking why I went M.I.A. all weekend. It could be Mark—with his audacity I wouldn't put it past him. It could be Chan.

My last thought made me reach for the device. My heart beat fast as I read the name.

Chan: It's boring here. When's the next work trip?

I let out a low giggle.

Skye: I think Voss would call anything a work trip if he thought this weekend was.

In a few seconds he responded.

Chan: Should we tell Voss of all our... endeavors?

My body lit up. I knew what he meant.