Invalid nonsense

When two people hold one heart.

more than this <3

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I'm laughing with tear stains down my cheeks. Your precious smile as you stare up at me. Looking at me like I'm a world filled with nothing but blossomed flowers. Leaning on me like I'm the life force keeping you alive. Like I'm someone special enough for your love. Staring at your face and wondering how you don't see how beautiful you truly are. Your past makes you real and makes me love you a million times more. I'll cradle you soft in my arms when you cry and cheer you on the loudest whenever I'm proud, you hate that I'm always cheering so loud.

I'll kiss you and touch you and whisper all the ways your smile makes me feel. The butterflies that swarm and attack me until I realise this is real. The truth behind the empty lost look I can see in your eyes, I hold you close whenever you feel like you're dying inside. I hold you close on all the days in between the bad ones. On the good days you smile wider than ever, making my life so worth living. Making me feel so accomplished. You complete my life and give me reason to breathe in the air filled with pollen. You helped me realise that you are my only dream. My once life, filled with pain and trauma flooding every inch of skin on my body. Now I smile when you hug me and feel like you've eased the need to scratch. I take you and hold you tight, refuse to let you out of my sight. I see it in your eyes that you will never let me go, my only breath of the day, breathing in fresh air is when you warm my soul.

Keep your hands on my chest, you can barely breathe through the sobs clogging up your throat. The sound kills me, I hurt you, it's my fault. You love me, you tell me you're not mad. You say it's never something I've done. I'm the dirty one, but you still touch me. I'm scared I've let you down but you hold me and tell me you love me. I know I'm not the world you deserve but you breathe in my neck and kiss me so I can breathe too. How can one precious individual fill a world with so much life. How can I touch you when you deserve only the light. I'm filled, deep with darkness that hurts everyone around me. You never feel weary around me and you should. I may push you into that darkness with me as a selfish way to have a light to guide me through it. I refuse to take you away from the sun, the stars and the sky. The pretty flowers that you fit right in with, while I'm a petal on the ground.

If I kiss you hard enough will I feel the light seep through the heaviness that weighs me down. No cracks in the brick lining of my heart, nothing can get to it now. Locked down so it can never feel the pain I've caused others. My dear brother. If I try enough maybe the bricks will shake. Maybe you'll be the one to break them completely, knocking down the wall that holds me captive inside myself. I dream of life where I can have your touch on me and not feel scared for a second before. Where I can hold you and smile, really smile. A true feeling of happiness that I've never felt before. Where I can keep you safe, maybe sometimes away from me, I know you'd follow like a puppy if I tried to leave. Over the hills of happiness in my mind and slowly flowing down the stream at the bottom. The path is still intact when I get there, usually I'm walking on the dirt of all my broken dreams.

My love, I believe in a true life. Living and loving you in the truest of lights. I would bring the moon to your doorstep just to see you shine. You know I'd visit you if you were the sun. You burn me, your touch electrifies my skin. It sparks my heart up and keeps it beating, never ending. My heart pumps for you as yours does for mine. Our hearts are the same one. My own is yours and that's when true love really sparks. When two people hold one heart. The flowers never stop blooming and the music never seems to halt. The smile on your face is because of the smile on mine. The love that traces our heart brings the happiness alive again. Keeps us sane and safe in the darkest of times. Keeps us warm when we lay next to each other, even on the coldest of nights. Our hands hold while we sit there and rest our eyes, the sun beating down on us and the raspberry mojitos resting by our side, your pretty diamond glittering in the light. The warmth of the sun is unmatched by the one we create on our own. I'll stay by your side forever, I'll never love you more than this because this special love makes us feel at home.

Then when we turn and look into each other's eyes, the light shines bright from the inside. This time when I close mine, I'll feel you on me rather than anyone else from the outside. I trust your hands and feet. I believe that when time brings us close again, we can fly up together, holding wings. You play with my fingers as we come back from our own separate wandering minds. This time I say I love you and you speak at the same time. It's the perfect end to the story of a messy head. This time I'll be free from hiding in the dread. I smile, so wide, when I think of our love. I'll treasure our time here, I'll remember it when we grow up. I'll kiss you every morning and make you breakfast in bed. I'll sing you a song in the shower after all the touches we give. I'll beam at you like the sun does to the earth. My precious love, for me, you will forever be the first.