Song, Who Am I by: Snoop Dogg
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I was sitting near Klaus.
"So... How old are you really?"
"55."
"Did you teleport too far and get stuck in the same 14 year old body?"
"Um, no."
"How are you... You know."
"I kinda sorta died." I shrugged.
"And you came back to life?"
I nodded. "Yep. It was traumatizing, I think it added to my PTSD."
I raised my shot glass, "to death."
Klaus smiled and raised his glass, "to death!"
We both downed it.
"Five, I like your girlfriend." Klaus chuckled. "I'm gonna call you Casper."
I chuckled. I turned around and saw Five leaning against a table, looking at the ground, I saw Viktor upset.
They found out about Harlan.
"Well! That went great!" Klaus sighed and sat next to me, Five sat on the other side of me.
He gave the three of us shot glasses. He grabbed vodka and poured it.
"I was my future self die."
"That's crazy. Almost the exact same thing happened to me. But I didn't die, but I did, but--"
"He told me not to save the world. And then he died."
"--I don't know."
"What do you think he meant by that?"
"Well, shouldn't you know?"
"Shouldn't you know about your-- okay."
"Older Five was kinda hot though." I admitted.
"Really? Aw, I should've been there!"
We lifted up our glasses.
"Well, up your ass."
"Salud-" Five glared at Klaus.
I laughed before Klaus and I downed it.
"Klaus, I've dedicated my entire life to stopping the apocalypse. Apocalypses, plural. And he tells me..."
"Mm-hmm?"
"That it's... It's, what? It's meaningless."
"Oh, well, I don't know anything--"
"Maybe that's his way of saying not to become him, but..." Five sighed then downed his shot glass.
"Oh, you're really messed up about this, huh?"
"I've cheated time so much, I guess I just figured I'd somehow cheat death. But it turns out, I die a one-armed nightmare inside a bureaucratic hellscape of my own design."
"Spoiler alert!"
"Don't forget 'hot'." I shrugged.
"Stop it."
"What? Older you is like more daddy material than Diego."
Five scoffed. "Not to mention the trashy tattoo."
"Ew, you just carry that with you?" I asked.
"Is this your skin?"
"I'll be damned if I go out with an old man tramp stamp."
