Our Heart | WandaNat x Daughter

Chapter 1 - Fall. Favorite season?

My favorite season. Fall. Halloween, cooler weather, pumpkin flavored coffee and treats, Hocus Pocus, sweaters and turtle necks and my two favorite people who I credit my love for fall to, my moms. I grew up under the influence of their love of fall. So many loving memories of trick or treating and decorating the house with Jack-o-lanterns, bats, spiders, and witches. Every Friday after school they would take me to our local coffee shop and I would get the pumpkin infused hot chocolate and let it soothe my throat as it went down and feel it warm my entire body. My mom, Nat always got an americano no matter the season. My mama, Wanda always gave in to whatever seasonal drinks they had to offer. I always preferred mama's drinks over mom's. Now, I love a good pumpkin spiced chai. Iced of course, no matter how cold it was outside.

As I got older, those sweet moments became distant memories as my mind was plagued with self hatred and doubt; that I am unlovable, intolerable, indecisive, too reliant on others and I constantly flinch at everything. I used to bask in physical touch from anyone who would offer it. Moms were big on affection. This autumn, I learned to resent touch. I would shy away from mom's forehead kisses and mama's protective hugs. I didn't deserve their touch. The only touch I knew now was from Jay. My incredibly loving and caring boyfriend. At least I was brainwashed into thinking that. This autumn was ruined for me. Everything was about to come a head because of him.

At 17 years old I thought I would be my most confident, self-aware, and resilient version of myself. Instead he turned me into his version of what he thought a girl at my age should be. Small enough to control and able to cover up with clothes and make up so nobody could see his marks on me. I didn't need anyones pity or condescending looks anyway. This is what I deserved. Right? I know my mothers would disagree but I think deep down, there was no way I would be able to pull myself out of this. Fall would have to be my least favorite season.

"Hey baby, how was school today?" Mom asked as she looked up from her laptop. "It was mostly uneventful. Mr. Green went on another 'my wife hates me' rants again so I guess that would have to be the highlight of today."

"Ha well I'm glad he makes history fun for you. Hopefully he can actually teach you something useful one of these days." She chuckled. "Yeah well, we shall see."

Mama then walked in from the backyard, nose red from the nippy weather outside today. "Man today has been a cold one! Jack Frost must be working overtime." Mama laughed to herself. She loves that song for some reason. She made her way over to me. No no no. No hug. I want to feel her so badly but can't risk it. She will feel how thin I've gotten since being with him. When she puts her arms around me, I try not to flinch, but she pressed on a bruise. For a moment I feel safe. Besides the now throbbing pain on my upper right ribs. I had truly forgotten what it was like to let my guard down. With one hand wrapped almost around my waist and her other cupping my head, I never wanted to leave. Luckily I'm in a turtleneck with a hoodie on top so hopefully she won't notice how much easier it is to fit in her arms.

"How has my favorite girl been today?" She inquires as I pull back and she instead cups my face with both hands. "I've missed you. I feel like I haven't seen you in a couple days. Has Mr. Green been assigning more essays?" That made mom laugh. "No but that's what he should be doing instead of being a bad husband." We laugh but mama looks confused.

I let go of mama and go to grab a water bottle from the fridge. "I've been busy mama. Lots of homework and studying." I reply as I'm trying to walk away quickly to avoid anymore questions about why they haven't seen me or why I haven't been too social lately. I make it up the stairs past all the family pictures hung up on the wall and lay on my bed on my stomach and exhale on my pillow. Today sucked. Jay was being an ass per usual. Of course I had to act like I was in love with him in the halls of school. At first, I had really loved him. He made me feel amazing. Like we were untouchable. Now I had to keep that image up so I wouldn't have to talk to anyone about how I really was. Hiding in plain sight came easy to me. Maybe I subconsciously learned it from mom. Mama always wore her heart on her sleeve so I guess I had the best of both worlds but it' became easier for me to hide.

"Nat, have you noticed anything different about Max? It seems like she's been mentally and emotionally checked out for a while." Wanda explained as she sat next to Nat on the couch.

"I think she's been stressed with school babe. It's her senior year. She's thinking about so many things. I think she's trying to compartmentalize all her emotions so she's not overwhelmed. Both my girls have big emotions. She's just coping differently."

Wanda sighed and nodded. She understood better than anyone how big emotions are. Deep down she sometimes regrets showing them because of how it's taught Max. She and Nat have always taught Max to be open and vulnerable with her emotions. "It's a strength to be vulnerable, not a weakness," Wanda always instructed. But now it seems Max has reached a place where she became numb.

"Maybe I'm overthinking it. Again." Nat laughed and pulled Wanda into her from her side. "You're not my love. I would be worried too but our daughter knows she can come to us if anything is too much for her. And if she doesn't, then we keep reminding her." Wanda looked deeply into Nat's bright green eyes agreeing. "Natasha Romanoff, you are the glue to this family. Whatever would I do without you?" Nat smirked. "Um you would be with that weird maroon toaster who loves reading the dictionary for fun?" Wanda laughed and slightly shoved Nat. "Yeah yeah I guess you're right."

I can't even escape on my phone looking at social media. All I want to do is be in my room for like 3 days and just sleep. But I know mom would come and make sure I ate and showered. If she did that, she would see that my room is a reflection of my mental state.

I start cleaning my room to make it seem like all is well upstairs so they don't ask questions. They don't need to worry about my mental situation. That would be too much on mama. I'm glad she doesn't read my mind without asking. That's a promise she made to me when she told me of her abilities. I would have been screwed the night that Jay first hit me. She would've had to live through that and I wouldn't wish that upon her.

I am almost done cleaning when I toss a shirt into the hamper and see a photo on the floor. It's the photo of me, mom and mama at the autumn carnival when I was 13. I was dressed as Katniss Everdeen to make Uncle Clint mad. Also she was my favorite character. Mom was dressed as Professor Trelawney from Harry Potter and mama was dressed as a Sokovian fortune teller. This is one of my favorite memories. That night was so fun. I got to hang out with Uncle Clint and my cousins, Cooper and Lila. We all had too much sugar and I ended up puking on Uncle Clint's shoes. They were ugly anyways. I put the photo in my nightstand and continue cleaning.

I hear my phone ping and I see it's a text from Jay saying I need to pick up some things at the store on my way over to his house tonight. He's having a Halloween party with some of his friends. He likes to show me off to people, even though I am nothing to show.

I have dark auburn hair, hazel green eyes, a nose that looks like Quinn Fabray's, which I guess is a good quality, and a slender face shape with sunken in cheeks. I am about 5'6 and have my mama's lighter skin tone. No one really stops to look at me which I prefer. Makes hiding in plain sight so much easier. Moms always call me beautiful. I miss hearing that from them without me internally cringing. Jay has found a way to twist my mothers' loving and genuine words into a perverse combination of words. I believe what he tells me.

I sigh and look at the list of things he needs and get ready to head out into the world. I say goodbye to moms and say I will be back later. They trust me to not do anything stupid. I've never had a desire to anyways. I head out to my car and turn the key and blast the heat. Mama was right, Jack Frost was out today. I head to the closest Kroger and grab the stuff on the list and pay for it.

When I pull up to his house I take a moment to take a deep breath and prepare myself for tonight. I do this everytime before I am alone with him. I knock and Jay's mother answers. "Hello dear! Jay is up in his room waiting for you." She says as I take off my jacket and shoes. "Thank you Mrs. Hunsaker." I head up to his room. I walk in and see him laying on his bed shirtless. I know where this is going. "Hey baby. Come and sit down for me." I internally gag. I don't want to do this. I am so ashamed. I don't have a choice unless I want to be hit. I guess he will do that anyways. It's going to be a long night.