Our Heart | WandaNat x Daughter

Chapter 6 - Nightmare

"Jay, please stop!!! I'm sorry, please don't hurt me!"

"Oh Max. You had this coming. You realise no one else loves you but me, right? Even your own mothers don't love you. You're too much for them. You're such an inconvenience to everyone in your life. You can't even stand up for yourself. I bet your moms regret having you." He uttered, voice laced with rage.

"No that's not true. They love me! They tell me everyday." I reply out of breath.

His right fist collides with my left eye. I fall down. Jay starts kicking me in my already severely bruised ribs.

"You! Are! Nothing!" He says in between blows. "You will never amount it anything in your life without me." He adds.

"Jay stop! I can't...breathe!" I say on the verge of passing out.

"Maybe this will finally shut you up." Jay says as he pulls out his Swiss Army knife from his pocket. He stabs me in my lower abdomen.

I jolt awake with sweat on my forehead and am struggling to breathe. Somehow I didn't scream so it didn't wake up moms. I quietly slip out of their bed and glance at the clock. 3:30am. I continue to pad out of their room towards our living room with the 70's conversation pit mama insisted they build.

I take my shirt off to glance at my ribs and stomach to check my bruises. I feel pain in my lower abdomen. Must be sympathetic pain from my nightmare.

The couch I'm on looks out the giant window in our house, that overlooks the neighbourhood. Further out I can see the city lights that twinkle along the skyline. I love this view.

There's no way I'm falling back asleep so I just stay and make myself comfortable on the couch with a light blanket draped over me.

I don't know how long I was there until I heard footsteps come towards the room. Mom's footsteps to be exact. Her voice brought me back to reality.

"Max? Are you okay, honey?" She questions sleepily.

"Sorry, mom. I had a nightmare. I can't go back to sleep." I reply as she sits down next to me, probably questioning why I'm just in my bra.

She doesn't say anything, but turns on the lamp to view my bruises. As she looks at my torso and neck, I can see tears brimming in her green orbs. She lightly grazes over my left side and down to my lower belly. I shoot her a sad smile as I don't know what to say. She sits against the couch arm rest and pulls me with her so I am now laying on my side in between her legs with my head resting in her chest. She runs her fingers up and down my arm as I listen to her slightly sob.

We were sat there for a while before she spoke.

"I am so sorry I wasn't there to protect you, baby. I wish I would've been there to stop him from hurting you. It went on for too long. He is going to pay for what he did to you." I feel her staring down at me. I am listening but continue to watch the city lights.

"I thought he loved me mommy. He made me feel like a million bucks when we first met. He inspired me to write music in a way I never have before. I don't know what happened. I don't know how I got so weak." I say softly, voice shaking.

She runs her hand up and down my back as she says, "Max. You are not weak. You are the strongest girl I have ever met. And I've met a lot of people. Mama and I don't know where your resilience comes from. We have seen you bounce back time & time again. You will get through this. And we will be there every step of the way." She tells me firmly but lovingly.

"Jay is a true narcissist. Usually they are master manipulators who will do anything to get what they want physically and emotionally. We raised you to be vulnerable and open but I believe we failed in teaching you when to guard your heart. Jay took advantage of your vulnerability and big heart. He manipulated and gaslighted you into believing things about yourself that aren't true. You don't need him to tell you what to look like, what to think, or what to feel. There are good people out there who want the best for you and who will love you for you, baby. Mama and I sure do, but I want you to know, you will meet someone who truly cares for you and loves you when mama and I aren't here anymore. If that is what you want. It might seem daunting and scary right now because of what you went through but don't give up hope that there is someone out there for you. Anyone would be lucky to have you as their partner in life. Just like how I am incredibly lucky and undeserving of your mama. I want that for you, Max." I can't help my thoughts drifting about Haylee.

I am now sobbing into her chest at her words. My heart believes them but my head is telling me it's not true. I need to follow my heart.

"Thank you mom. I don't know what I would do without you. I am so lucky and undeserving of you and mama." I say looking up at her.

She smiles and say, "My heart, you are the best thing to ever happen to us. It is an honor to be your mother. I love you so much, it hurts."

She presses a kiss to my head and looks out on the skyline. I think the sun will rise soon.

A little while later, I realized I had drifted off when I feel mama sit down and lift my legs on her. I look up and smile at her as she pulls a piece of hair behind my ear.

"Don't I get to cuddle my baby, too?" She asks lightly.

I chuckle and move over to her, careful not to wake mom.

Mama sighs as she wraps her arms around me tightly, taking in my scent. I do the same thing. It reminds me that I am grounded and I am safe.

"Did you have a nightmare, love?" She whispers.

"Yeah. I couldn't go back to sleep." I reply listening to her heart.

"I'm sorry baby. Do you want to talk about it? That always helps me whenever I have a nightmare about Uncle Pietro."

"He said that you and mom didn't actually love me. That I am an inconvenience in your life and you probably regret having me. He was kicking me on the ground while he was verbally attacking me too. I woke up when he stabbed my stomach." I say sadly.

Mama rests her hand over the exact spot where he stabbed.

"I can feel it." She says shakily with tears down her cheeks.

" I'm sorry mama. I never wanted you to feel what was happening. I am supposed to be strong for you and mom but I just feel so weak." I add.

She inhales a deep breath before she says, "Sweetheart, I understand you wanted to protect mom and I from what you thought would hurt or disappoint us. I want you to know, we would never blame you for what you went through because it wasn't your fault. You don't need to protect us. That is our job as your moms. I am so sorry we didn't do a good job of it when you were in the thick of it." She silently sobs.

"Mama it's not your fault! I don't want you to blame yourself." I say wiping some tears off her face.

She in turn kisses my palm and holds my hand as she continues.

"What I can promise you, is that he will never have the chance to hurt you or say anything to you ever again." She says fiercely. "I also want you to know, that it is never wrong or embarrassing to ask for help. Whether it's me or mom, or a professional. It takes a lot of strength to admit what you went through and I am so proud of you for telling us. I admire your courage so much, baby. You are truly a remarkable daughter and never believe that we don't love or care for you. We love every part of you fiercely and wouldn't change a thing. You are perfect in every single way. I don't know how I got so lucky to have you as my daughter, but I am thankful every day for your beautiful face." She says running her hand through my hair as the other caresses my back.

"I love you, mama." I say crying slightly.

"We love you more, our heart." Mom and mama say at the same time. I look up at mom and see her tired eyes filled with love and her comforting smile.

We sit there all together with mom on my right side and mama on the other both holding me. We watch the new day start to shine through our home. Today will be better. Today, I am free.