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I got back home really late,  Luca was sleeping, I guess
I went to my room, I wore my pijama
When I was about to go to bed, I found a little box on the bed, I knew it was from Luca, I remembered Adrien's
I got the two boxes in front of me, it was so hard to decide which one to open first
My feelings were completely mixed, this is so stupid
I took Luca's and opened, it was a necklace with a little blue butterfly, the same color as his eyes
I love it so much, I instantly put it on, it was one of the best things I ever saw

I was really tired, and my headache was getting worse, I placed Adrien's box on the Bedtable, then I fell asleep

I woke up the morning, went to school, Adrien was ignoring me, Emma said when we were alone:
"- what's going on with you two?
- we had a fight, a big one this time
- what happened?
- I went out with Luca, I lost track of time and I kind of forgot that I had a date with him
- you're unbelievable, where did Luca took you to forgot such a thing?
- we went to ice skating
- you went on a date with your boyfriend's brother?
- NO, it's just two friends celebrating a birthday
- it sounds like a date to me
- Em!!!
- what are you doing to do?
- I am going to talk with him after school
- and??
- I don't know Emma, I am so confused, I can't with all this, there are so many things going on my mind those days, I am so tired
- just know that I'm always with you, mon amie"

After class, Adrien was hurrying so I had to go after him, I called him over and over but he kept ignoring me, but I didn't give up, so he said:
"- what the hell do you want?
- talk!
- about what? We have nothing to talk about
- well, I have.....Adrien, please"

We went to the garden next to school then he said:
"- do you have feelings for him?
- who?...... It's complicated
- it's avious, the necklace you're wearing, he gave it to you
- how did you know?
- it was my mom's
- oh, I didn't know that.
- did you opened mine
-....Adrien, I am so sorry
- I knew this day will come since you moved with him
- I am sorry, I didn't want to hurt you
- you did, I loved you Ires
- Adrien...
- Ires... I am moving to Italy
- what??..... When?
- after we get rid of the gang, after all it's the best thing to do
- don't go if you don't want to, if you're father is forcing you..
- no, I always wanted to live in Italy, it's my dream
- then I should be happy for you my friend
- I will miss you
- I will miss you too"

He smiled at me, I felt so happy that Adrien and I are in good terms now.

It's been two weeks since I last saw Luca, he came home really late every day and leave two hours after dawn

I was cooking some food when he came home, he didn't say a word, he just walked to his room so I stopped him as I said:
"we need to talk"

He turned around to face me and said:
"- we?? So bad, I have nothing to say
- are you drunk"

The alcohol smell was all over him, but he said trying to hold back himself:
"- no, I am not, I am so sober
- you should go shower, I will make you cup of worm coffee
- hahaha, no, I don't do whatever you say, you have nooo control over me
- right, but you have to go shower
- I'll go, but it not because you told me to"

Luca has a great drinking capacity God knows how much did he drink

After a few minutes, he come out, he sat on the kitchen chair and said
I gave him the coffee I made for him and said:
"- why were you drinking this much?
- I don't know, I just felt like it
- are you better now?.... I need to tell you something
- I have something to tell you too
- go first
- I need you to reject me, so I can move on
- what?
-... Just forget about it, what do you wanna to say?
- I broke up with Adrien...... Because I think that I love you"

He kept staring at me, I felt really uncomfortable so I said:
"- aren't you going to say anything?
- I.... I have nothing to say
- Luca, I know this is not true  is it about last night?... Luca, you need to talk to me
- I don't want to talk to you because I don't think you want to hear what I have to say
- you're wrong, whatever you're feelings is, just tell me
- OK
- talk then
- i feel lost, my heart is broken, and I hate you because I am in love with you and I hate myself even more for it because, I want something that doesn't belong to me, that I can never have
- Adrien and I broke up, we're just friends now
- and you think that makes things less complicated?
- Luca, I don't even understand what are you saying
- I am saying that I care about my brother a lot, and I will never do such a thing to him, even if you broke up, he loves you Ris, I am sorry my angel
- you're the one rejecting me now
- I have too, I am bad for you Ires, we can't never be together
- we love each other it's abvious, can't that be enough?? Luca I have never felt such a connection
- it's never enough, I just hope if we met otherwise.... Good night.. Ires"

He got up and went to his room and so did I, I looked the door and my tears came down automatically, I can't believe he just did that
He's torturing me and himself


















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