Open Wound//A Demi Lovato Fanfic

Numbness

I woke up and stared at the ceiling for a good ten minutes. I didn't move one single muscle. I just laid and stared. Nothing went through my head, nothing upset me, I was numb, and I just laid there.

I sat up, not changing my facial expression and walked over to the toilet, kneeling down and lifting the seat. I don't want to do this, I know I don't want to do this, but I have to do this. They keep sneering and whispering telling me to do bad things and at this point I guess I really don't care. Maybe they can make me happy.

My facial expressions stayed the same, blank, as I shoved my two fingers down my throat and vomited into the bowl. I knew this was bad, I shouldn't be doing this, I was getting better, I was getting happy, and now it just all seems to be all crashing down.

I felt like I wasn't really me, like I had lost control. I felt like i was trapped in a little box inside myself watching as I destroyed myself piece by piece and screamed at myself to stop, but I'm not in control anymore. They are. I gave them an all access pass to my brain.

I shut the door to my bedroom and locked it, as if I'm coming out anytime soon. My phone had plently of notifications but I could care less. My life is pointless by now, im a worthless waste of space and thats all. No one needs me, and I dont need anyone.

Amelia: Hey Aria, how you doing? I hope your okay. :) I'm always here for you remember that, text me whenever :)

Her texts didn't even make me smile. I barley even felt anything. I wonder how long until Demi or Nick come upstairs to wake me, maybe they'll find me dead, or maybe ill be passed out. Maybe ill just sit here with a blank expression and not say and damn word. I dont want to be sick but I am, and this is my life now, I've excepted it.

Im not even sure what exactly im so upset about. I guess I just really trusted him, and he took me to a bar and got drunk and I dont even know what could have happened that night and my dad and my mom and no no no no NO! No! I started screaming. I cant breathe no fuck I cant breathe. Im dying. This is it. I screamed as loud as I could shaking and crawling into a ball on the floor sobbing. "NO PLEASE! PLEASE NO!!!" I screamed. I felt someones hand wrap around me and pick me up. They held me close and rubbed my back franticly whispering "Shh shh its okay baby girl its okay, please calm down Aria im here, shh listen to me its okay its mommy sweety, its Demi, listen to my voice copy my breathing." I clenched onto her with all my might sobbing onto her shoulder.

Can you be my nightingale?

What is that. It sounds....nice.

Sing to me I know your there.
You could be, my sanity, bring me peace, sing me to sleep.
Say you'll be my nightingale.

"Shh shh baby its okay its okay." I calmed down eventually and stopped screaming and sobbing. I just sat on my bed next to Demi shaking as she rubbed my back and hugged me. The door had been knocked down, Demi must have broke it trying to get in here. "Wheres Nick?" I ask still examining the broken door. "Work. Why were you screaming Aria? Ive never heard you scream like that, it sounded like you were being murdered. I got so scared."

I was being murdered, by my own thoughts. "I'm sorry mom, I didn't mean to scare you, really. H-he brought me to a bar, he got drunk, I crashed down." "Who brought you to a bar!? What the fuck Aria!? What happened last night!?" I was shaking really hard. "P-please s-stop yelling." She sat back down quickly and rubbed my back in small circles. "Im sorry baby girl, just please tell me what happened." "I was at the movies, and Derek texted me, he told me to meet him outside so I did. I thought maybe we would hang or walk around or grab a burger or something, but he made me get on his motorcycle and drove us to a bar. At first I was hesitant but he went in and I didnt want to be alone so I went in too. He got us both beers and I tried a little but it was gross. He had more then me and got all drunk and started grabbing my waist and called me a freak because I wouldnt drink anymore and....I just flipped. I flashed back so hard that night and now I cant think about Derek or yesterday or practicly anything without thinking about....you know....my old parents...and I just cant handle this and I cant breathe and Demi im sorry!" I said clinging to her once again crying.

"Shh shh its okay baby girl its okay, im here for you dont worry." She whispered running her fingers through my hair. She layed me down and layed next to me hugging me tight as I finally fell asleep in her arms.

~*~

When I woke up I was on the couch in the living room with a blanket over me. I could hear Demi talking to someone but I couldn't figure out who it was. Eventually she came in and noticed I was up. "Baby girl hey how are you? I was just coming in to check on you." I sat up a little more causing the blanket to only cover my legs sending goosebumps up my arms. "I'm okay, who were you talking to?"

"That was your new therapist, Sasha. She called because your first session is tomorrow, are you okay with that? I think it would be a good idea for you Aria." She said. I really really really don't feel like talking about my problems to some random girl i just met, but Demi really wanted me to go and I dont feel like letting another person down anyway. "Yeah thats fine, what time?" "5:30" "Okay." I groaned laying back down an bringing the blanket over my head. Demi rubbed my arm through the blanket and said "Thank you baby girl, trust me it wont be as bad as u think." Mhm yeah right
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Yay happy ending😂 But hey yall how you been? I haven't updated in forever, or at least it feels like that. But btw if your enjoying this book you should definitely check out my new one A Love To Last A Lifetime, aaaand its about camren which everyone loves so go check it out!!!
Also thank you guys for over 1000 reads! Thats so awesome :)