Spitfire | Top Gun: Maverick

chapter 7

"sometimes to self-discover you must self-destruct." - r.m. drake

Chapter 7: Where self-destruction might be the answer to the unasked

They failed.

All because she couldn't get a grip on the thoughts swarming through her head. Why did Maverick have to confront her right before training? Why did he feel the need to inform her that Charlotte Blackwood was her mother. Why didn't she know that she was adopted?

All of these questions had circled her mind as she, Payback and Fanboy made their way through the simulated course – Spitfire leading them on.

They had come so close to being the first team to hit the target on time – all of the pent up rage that she had felt had been put into flying this course. She had flown her jet harder and harder, ignoring the warnings from her teammates. She needed the thoughts to go away.

With blood rushing through her ears and her heart pounding out of her chest, she had pushed her jet to the max. Right as they were about to swerve over the mountain, her engine had stalled and she was sent tumbling to the ground in a flatspin.

She had recovered quickly by dropping her landing gear and lowering the flaps – something her "father" had taught her from a very young age but unfortunately for her and the team, the time they had lost from the spin was unrecoverable.

They had hit the target two minutes out. Spitfire had let out a scream of frustration and hit her hand on the side of the plane before disconnecting herself from the communications channel.

She took a few deep breaths, composing herself before deciding that it was safer for her to return to base – before she did something much more idiotic like crash the plane.

She lands and parks her F-18 in a matter of five minutes, sitting in her plane for a few more seconds just staring out of the cockpit at the world around her. She failed her team and she failed herself.

She opens up the cockpit, jumping out before stalking across the runway as fast as her legs could manage. A deep frown was present on her forehead and all that was repeating through her mind was that she had failed. Over and over again the words resonated in her mind, making her grasp her helmet tighter.

"Spitfire," She hears a voice in the distance but doesn't stop to look back at who's calling her. "Spitfire stop!"

"SPITFIRE! Damnit stop walking so fast," the voice yells across the runway sounding oddly familiar. She doesn't do what the voice says however and only walks faster – moving swiftly through the hallways of the building, successfully losing the voice before heading towards the girl's locker rooms.

She locks the door behind her before sitting down onto the bench, resting her face in her hands. Why couldn't Maverick just wait until training was over? Payback and Fanboy probably never want to fly with me again after that stunt.

Shaking her head, she stands up before heading over to her locker to grab a spare set of clothes before changing into them swiftly – moving like she had been switched to autopilot.

She should have known something like this would happen, everything always seemed too good to be true in her life. It was nice while it lasted wasn't it?

After her best friend had died she thought that things would calm down, that her life would slowly start to become normal again but it seems that she had been wrong. Always expect the worst and you'll never be disappointed.

The blood rushes to her ears, heart thudding faster in her chest. Her hands started shaking and her vision became blurred and disfigured, as if she was looking through a fish-eye lens. She grasped the door to her locker tightly, leaning on it as her breathing became rapid – as if she had just run a marathon.