God's Gone AWOL

[5] Chasing a Naked Man Through the Streets

Even though Xander had jumped from the third floor window, he landed lightly on the ground below. With a sigh, he glanced down at the glass shards littering the concrete. The hotel room was booked under his name, so if the owners noticed the sudden lack of a window, Xander would be the one who had to pay the bill. With the wave of his hand, the glass lifted off the ground, soaring back up into the frame as though time was reversing itself. Once the fragments had pieced themselves back together into a somewhat recognizable window shape, Xander took off running.

Lucy was almost at the end of the street already, screaming in terror as he tried to secure the bedsheet around his vital area. Despite being a create born of the air, he was not very light on his feet, and soon Xander was on his tail.

"What are you doing??" he shouted from just a few meters behind Lucy.

"AAAH! I'm not going back!" Lucy sped up, determined to put as much distance between the two as possible, "I'm never going back to that infernal place!!!"

"What are you talking about??"

"IT'S LITERAL AND PHYSICAL HELL!!"

The dramatic chase ran the length of the parking lot, and out onto a nearby street.

As they were living in France, many of the average Paris citizens had seen some very weird things in their lifetimes. However, it was rather unlikely that any of them had ever witnessed a mostly-naked former Prince of Hell run shrieking down the sidewalk while a mess of a High Counselor dressed like someone out of an early 2000s grunge music video chased after him like a bat out of hell (haha). So needless to say, there were quite a lot of terrified bystanders throwing themselves out of the way as the two came barreling down the street like the pair of maniacs they both were.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Lucy shouted at everyone he passed. "AAAAH!"

The scene was so absurd. Xander had finally had enough. Once he had safely chased Lucy down a narrow side-street and out of the mortals' sightline, he stretched open his great black wings and took off, launching himself through the air with a burst of extra speed. Then he landed SPLAT on top of Lucy, tackling him to the ground.

The two rolled together for some time. It wasn't until Xander finally exerted some serious force that they slowed to a stop. Then he held Lucy still, pinning him to the ground with his own body so neither of them could move. Both were breathing heavily, creating a hot cloud of air between their chests.

"Alright! Alright! You win!" Lucy wailed in defeat.

Xander shoved away, but kept very close in case his royal highness tried anything else.

"Why did you run away?" Xander asked, trying to stabilize his breath, "Couldn't you have just changed form or used your wings? Why did you have to embarrass both of us like that?"

"I was trying to play the naked lunatic card, but you actually chased me down anyway." He sat up, "Turns out you're even more of a lunatic than I am."

"Why are you so afraid of going back to Hell?"

Lucy blinked at him with his dazzling purple eyes.

"Why d'ye think??"

"I don't know! Why don't you put on some clothes and tell me?"

Xander got to his feet and held out a hand. After a short pause, Lucy grudgingly accepted. Xander pulled him up to his feet.

As promised, Lucy magically changed into some actually functional clothing. Although the style was a bit sparkly and dramatic for Xander's taste, he really couldn't complain. Lucy was a celebrity who demanded attention through every single movement and action. And when all was said and done, obnoxious clothing was better than no clothing at all. Xander had no choice but to grit his teeth and live with it.