Razor is Not Just a Puppy

9

Staying away from Bennett was a lot harder than Razor thought it was going to be. He wanted to wait until Bennett decided for himself what he wanted. Every time he saw him, he lit up, and then immediately remembered he couldn't run to Bennett like usual. 

Sighing, Razor sat down on the bench. He rested his elbows against his knees and coughed, smelling smoke. 

"Sorry, kid," the man sitting beside him snuffed the cigarette. "I told myself I would never drink and look where I am now...I picked up a different nasty habit..." 

"How long do you have to give someone time before you can just force an answer out of them?" Razor blurted out. 

"Ah, well," he ran his hand through his flaming red hair, not sure how to answer. "Different for everyone, I suppose." 

"I've waited a long time for an answer..." Razor looked up at the sky, frowning. "I want to go back to how it was before." 

"Hah! Don't we all?" The stranger looked up at the sky with him. "There was someone I was really close to as a kid. He got badly injured because of me and I haven't talked to him since." 

"Why?" 

"He probably hates me for hurting him, right?" 

"Did you hurt him on purpose?" 

"No, it was an accident-" 

"Then he doesn't hate you." 

"What makes you so sure?" 

"What makes you so sure he hates you?" 

"Touche, I suppose." 

"Did you apologize?" 

The stranger's eyes widened. "I don't think I have...no..." 

"Start there then..." Razor leaned back against the bench, closing his eyes. Talking to strangers was hard enough. He wasn't much of a talker to begin with so he didn't want to talk anymore. 

"The idiot walks by my store every day at the same time. Maybe I'll try tomorrow..." 

Razor chuckled. He opened one eye. "On purpose." 

"What?" 

"Walks by on purpose." 

Bennett opened the letter. He closed his eyes after pulling it out. He didn't want to know what it said but at the same time, he wanted to know. He'd waited too long. 

Bennett,

How do I tell you that you mean the world to me? I'm not good with words but you know that already...so I've tried to write down my feelings. That's even harder. I love you, Bennett. You're the reason I smile. 

I know I'm not small anymore and that makes you uncomfortable but how I feel about you hasn't changed since we met. You're my most important person. I can't imagine life without you. I don't know what that means. 

Bennett is Bennett and my feelings are the same. But Bennett thinks too hard and uses too many words. Complicated. 

I want to hug and kiss and hold hands with you. I want everything between us to stay the same but I want us to do more stuff too. Maybe I'm not Bennett's most important person. Maybe Bennett has feelings for someone that isn't me. 

I'll understand. 

I don't want to make Bennett uncomfortable. 

Love, 

Razor