Razor is Not Just a Puppy

6

"It's totally normal to fantasize about your handsome childhood friend, right?" 

Xingqiu spat out his iced coffee all over Bennett's face. "What?" 

"It's totally normal to-" 

"Oh gods," Xingqiu slid his hand down his face and rolled his eyes. He grabbed Bennett's shoulders and shook him. "Have my fanfictions taught you nothing?! Have I taught you nothing?! Do you not believe in the power of the rainbow? Must I force the sacred skittles down your throat for you to understand you want the glorious Razor coc-" 

Bennett slapped his hands over Xingqiu's mouth. "People are looking! Shut up!" Xingqiu licked Bennett's palm and he removed his hands, sliding them on his pants. "What the heck?! Only Razor can lick me!" 

"So, you admit to having a licking fetish, interesting," Xingqiu grabbed a napkin and pulled a pen out of who-knows-where to take notes. "Do you also like pet pl-" 

"Xingqiu!" Bennett blushed. 

"What? We're just good ol' pals talking about kinks in broad daylight what's there to be shy about?" Xingqiu snickered. 

"Do you have kinks, Xingqiu?" 

"Of cour-" Xingqiu didn't realize the voice wasn't Bennett's and nearly fell out of his chair. "Sweet holy mother of the gods! Chongyun!" 

"I'm not a mother, sweet, or related to gods..." Chongyun frowned. He licked his hand. "I don't think I have any flavor actually. Salty, if anything." 

"Chongyun, what do you think kinks are?" Bennett asked. 

"Huh? Isn't that another word for knots? You know like the kind you need to get massaged out?" Chongyun stared, licking his popsicle. "I can massage your kinks if you want," he offered to Xingqiu. 

"My precious idiot," Xingqiu muttered out in a single breath. He held his face in his hands. "Yes, thank you, please rub my shoulders." Chongyun placed the popsicle stick into Bennett's empty mug and stood behind Xingqiu. He placed his hands on his shoulders and rubbed his thumbs deep into Xingqiu's shoulder blades. 

"Oh. Oh." Xingqiu shriveled up. "Oh wow. Hnnnnn..." 

"We can't be friends anymore," Bennett crawled under the table to hide behind the table cloth. "Stop making weird noises." 

"Harder Chongyun...that's the spot. Oh! Ahh!~" 

Bennett punched Xingqiu in the leg. 

"Ahhhhhnnn!~" Was Xingqiu's response.  

"Bennett?" 

"Not now Razor I'm too busy hiding from this walking embarrassment to societ-" Bennett whipped his head around. "Razor!?" He moved to stand up but slammed his head against the table. "Argh!" Xingqiu's unfinished iced coffee fell on top of Bennett's head as he came out from the closet, I mean, under the table. 

"I hate it here," Bennett said, feeling the ice cube go down his back. 

"I'll get it..." Razor offered. He slid his hand under Bennett's shirt but the ice cube slid down into Bennett's pants. Not thinking about it, he slid his hand into Bennett's underwear to try and find it. 

"Razor!" Bennett squeaked. 

"Hm?" Razor stared, confused. Not sure how to explain to the countless bystanders on the street why Razor's hand might be in his pants, Bennett grabbed Razor's face in both his hands. 

"I didn't give you a kiss today!" He slammed their lips together to which the strangers on the street cringed and looked away. Razor's hand slid up and out of Bennett's clothes to grab his chin. Bennett's hands fell by his sides, stunned, as Razor pulled his lips away to lick the side of his face up to his ear for a nibble. 

"Wha..." Bennett didn't know how to react. 

"Chongyun?" Xingqiu watched the two.

"Hm?" Chongyun replied, oblivious to the scenario of Razor and Bennett. He was very focused on massaging Xingqiu's shoulders. 

"Can I kiss you every day like Bennett kisses Razor?" 

"Huh?" Chongyun wasn't paying attention. 

"Nothing," Xinqiu sighed. It wouldn't matter even if he did kiss Chongyun. The popsicle-obsessed idiot had a crush on someone already.