come out and play

three ༊*·˚

Luca

"No thanks." I replied to my mom as I looked through my empty fridge to maybe find something that hadn't caught my eye the past ten times I've looked through it. "You haven't been to see your family in nearly a year Luca. What is wrong with you? We've done everything-" she started to start on her tangent about my upbringing so I cut her off. 

"Well you know mom, maybe there's a reason for it."

I sighed and shut my fridge with a slam and hung up my phone. I knew it was a mistake calling her back.

I slid my phone into my pocket and trudged down the hall to my bed. I smelt horrible and I was well overdue for a shower but the thought of how much effort that would be is turning me off it. I flopped into bed, pulling the covers up to my chin. 

I grabbed my phone out and scrolled through Billie's texts, a few tears rolling down my cheek. I didn't want to leave her in the dark, I hated making her feel like this. But I didn't know what else to do. 

She deserved to be happy, and I don't think I can give her that anymore. I don't think she'd still like me after she finds out who I really am anyways.

billie bee 🐝
323-498-8583

Tue, 4:09 pm

You missed a call from +1 323-498-8583
on Tuesday at 4:09 PM.
No message was left.

luca
i'm not upset
i just want to help you
please respond

Wed, 10:32 am

just let me know you're okay

You missed a call from +1 323-498-8583
on Wednesday at 10:35 AM.
No message was left.

                                                             Wed, 9:07 pm

all i wanna do is help you
i wont judge you whatever it is
i love you

Thu, 6:50 pm

i'm getting really worried about you
please be okay

Fri, 12:31 pm

i know you're seeing these lu
please just say something
im scared and i miss you

Fri, 5:46 pm

You missed a call from +1 323-498-8583
on Friday at 5:46 PM.
No message was left.

i know its hard but i can help you
or i can get you help
just call me back
please

I slid my phone underneath my pillow and pulled the covers further up over me, making my vision dark so I felt less self conscious crying. 

Billie

I tossed my phone across the couch. "He'll come around eventually Billie, he loves you." Finneas spoke up watching me repeat the same action over the last couple days. "It's not that I'm sad he's not talking to me. I'm worried about him. You of all people know I shut everyone I love out when I get bad, so I'm just scared he's doing that too. It only get's worse when you're alone." I explained. 

"Does he have a history with mental health issues?" Finn asked. "Yeah, back when he was fifteen he overdosed and was in hospital for ages. I think he used to self harm as well. He told me he hadn't any trouble since then, but maybe he relapsed? I really hope not" I said shaking my head at the scary thought.

"I'm sure he'll be okay Bil. Don't get ahead of yourself," Finneas said putting a hand on my shoulder. "I don't know. I have a bad feeling about it. Maybe I should go around to his house just to make sure he's not done something stupid" I suggested, running a hand through my hair anxiously while the other sat holding my stomach.

My anxiety likes to brew in there.

"Yeah maybe," Finn shrugged, walking away.

I sat on the couch chewing on my bottom lip in thought. "What's the matter here?" my mom asked walking over. "It's nothing," I shook my head with a dismissive sigh. "Okay, talk to me if you need though. On another note, could you tell me where you keep the tea towels?" mom asked. "Yeah in the drawer below the sink" I said deciding to distract myself with some TV.

"I could've sworn I looked in there-" mom muttered to herself as she walked off back to the kitchen to my dad and Finneas. I picked up the remote and switched on the television. I scrolled through Netflix for a while, not finding anything that caught my fancy.

I groaned after eventually giving up and got up off the couch, going into the kitchen. "Maggie, why is our daughter looking like she just witnessed a dog die?" dad joked to my mom seeing the gloomy look on my face. 

"Oh Patrick, you are so insensitive sometimes. I asked what was wrong earlier but I got nothing" mom scolded. "Billie's boyfriend's on hiatus," Finneas chimed in answering both my parents questions making me roll my eyes. "Great, thanks bozo. Letting mom and dad know was exactly what I needed."

"Do you know where he is?"

"Have you spoken to him?"

"No and no. The last time I saw him and heard from him was when he left here suddenly on Wednesday." I explained. "Oh. That's odd." mom said making me internally face palm. "God you guys are hopeless. This is why there was no point in telling them Finneas. Look, I love you but you are so oblivious, I already know that!!"

"Calm down sweetie, your mother and I are just trying to help." dad said making me even more annoyed. "I don't need anyone's help for fucks sake!" I said deciding coming in here was a bad idea, so I walked out and headed upstairs to my room, grabbing my phone from the couch on the way.

"She's scared and anxious, don't take it personally." Finneas consoled our parents making me groan again. 

Fuck this, I'm going to go find Luca.