Wildflower | Phan

Chapter 12

 hello everyone !! sorry im updating a day later than i usually do, i have quite a lot going on right now :/

also,, sorry that this chapter is kind of short. im sick,, but i thought i needed to update anyway !!!

tweet me !!

~alina (twitter-killjoydan)

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I sat on the couch for what seemed like hours. Just thinking about alcohol. I needed it, bad. But I couldnt have it. I didn't want to upset Phil. It amazed me how what I do could affect another person so much. I don't think anyone has ever cared about my health this much before. I don't think anyone has ever cared about me this much before.

I was starting to get hungry. I got up to get some food from the fridge but a hand grabbed my shoulders and pushed me down on the couch again

"Not so fast" Phil said, coming to sit on the couch next to me

"Whats up?" I ask, confused

Phil just stared at me, almost like he didnt know what he was about to say. It had to be something bad. What happened? Why isnt he telling me?

Is he okay?

"Phil... whats wrong?" I ask quietly

"Well.. I don't really know how to say this..."

Phil stopped to stare at me mid sentence, as if he were waiting for a response. I looked back at him, wondering what he was thinking about. What was he gonna tell me, and why was he scared to say it?

"You see, my new job, isn't paying as well as I thought and..." he looked at the table in front of us. On it was the rent bill.

The rent bill.

I suddenly knew where this was going.

"I don't think I have enough money to pay all of the rent this month" He said quickly, keeping his eyes fixed on the paper

"Don't worry about it Phil, I can pay a little bit extra this month" I say calmly

"But thats not fair to you!" Phil says,  teary eyed

He placed his head on my shoulder, which shot bolts throughout my entire body, and a tear of his fell onto my shirt. 

"Phil, please don't cry! Everything okay, I promise. everything will work out" I say, stroking his back gently

"Im so sorry, Im a terrible person. Im useless" 

"No Phil you have it all wrong! You're the most amazing person I know. Maybe I should start calling you Amazing Phil"

"I can't do anything right and I let down everyone" He says, lifting his head to look at me

"Well you certainly haven't let me down." I say softly

Phil smiled that adorable little smile, the smile that made me want to throw myself off a building

"Ill pay more next time, I promise" He said, wiping a tear from his beautiful face

"Thats not necessary" I say smiling

"It is"

"Its not"

Phil lifted his head off my shoulder and smiled.

"Im glad you didn't blame me, like most people do. Thank you, Dan" he said

He's glad I didnt blame him for not paying the rent? People have blamed him for not having enough money? Wait, if he says that this has happened before, then it must have happened with Charlotte a lot. Poor Phil. But he said like most people do. Does that imply that he has lived with other people besides Charlotte?

But he kept apologizing about how useless he was, and how terrible he thinks he is. Did people really make him feel like that? Why would you make someone feel that bad about themselves for not having enough money? Or, maybe...

Maybe that conversation was about more than just the rent.