Wildflower | Phan

Chapter 14

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~alina (twitter-killjoydan)

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The first thing I remember is Phil taking me off his back and placing me on the sofa. He walked away then, pacing back and forth. He head angry tears in his eyes. I instantly felt like the worst person. I knew I shouldn't have done this. It made Phil so upset, more upset that I had expected. I needed to make this right, but how? I could barely keep my eyes open at this point.

"Phil-" 

"Don't talk, just listen" Phil responded, quite loudly

He was silent for a while. I waited for him to say something, but he just paced back and forth across the lounge silently. He had no idea what to do

"I thought you were different" he said after a while

I was going to respond, but then I remembered that he told me not to talk. Plus, I was too drunk to speak

  

"I thought you were different, Dan. I thought you were so different. I thought you cared about me. I thought you cared about my opinions. I thought you cared enough to listen to me. But you don't. If you did, we wouldn't be here right now. You know how much I care about you. You know that I want you to be happy and healthy and strong. And you listened for a while. You listened because you knew that I cared. And you threw it all away. You stopped caring. You stopped caring about what I thought. You stopped caring about me-"

"I did not, for one second, stop caring about you. I wouldn't dream of it in a million years-"

"I told you not to speak, Daniel! Did you get bored with me? Did you forget about me? And its not even the fact you were drinking that makes me the most upset-"

"Wait, what?" I asked, I was so confused

"You are no better than Charlotte-"

"What the hell are you talking about?" I asked, my words slurred, my vision blurry

"... do you not remember?" Phil asked quietly

"What am I not remembering?"

Oh god, what the hell did I do this time

"You were making out with some girl, for like, a long time" he said, sitting next to me

oh

oH

OH

"Phil I-"

"Its okay, it just makes me upset. You obviously didn't mean to if you don't even remember"

"Phil-"

"Dan, its okay. Even though Im jealous, we aren't even a thing. Its stupid of me"

"But-"

"But, Dan I don't want to change who you are. So, if you want to party until sunrise and drink until you die, thats okay. Im sorry I tried to change you before. I just really want you to... stay alive"

"Phil, Im... you were jealous?"

Phil blushed a little bit, and looked into my eyes slowly

"Never mind, its nothing" he says quietly

"Phil, please-"

"Goodnight, Dan. And sorry about overreacting about that kiss. You were drunk and you don't even remember" He said

But, that was the problem

I wasn't drunk.

And I did remember.