~Everything about you is so terrible~
Y/N is simply... average. She doesn't mind it, really. I mean, who's she trying to impress? Sure, her life isn't anything perfect, but whatever. It is what it is. She had no interest in becoming popular, but my...
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It was dreadfully quiet throughout the house at night, but not so much in Y/N's head as she laid there in the bed, staring up at the ceiling with tear-filled eyes. They were starting to dry up a bit, but her heart was still hurting for numerous reasons, the most recent debacle being the main culprit at the moment. SQUIP had nothing to say, as he wasn't present, still tucked away from earlier after their little argument. She didn't want to stay like this, though.
She preferred him to be out a majority of the time, but she felt she had to get her head together first before she could call for him. It bugged her that he was denying his own feelings, even if they are fabricated, as he said. Though, this whole thing made her look back at her own feelings for SQUIP. Though he could be a bit of a jerk at times, he always had her best interest in mind. Even more than that, he actually took into consideration her side of things.
She could easily dismiss the first part being his designated task, but that second part happened because they worked together, because he allowed himself to loosen the reins. She also thought him funny and kind in his own way. She always enjoyed her time with him, even when he annoyed her to death. He had this charm to him. Then, there's the times he had comforted her. That definitely wasn't in his coding; he told her himself. He wasn't designed for that, but he did it anyways because he couldn't stand to see her so sad, even if he felt awkward the first few times.
Was that all a sign of his defectiveness? Maybe. Maybe his capsule was damaged before she swallowed it? Maybe it was a bug in the system or a mistake in the ones and zeros. Did that matter, though? It's not like he's been dangerous. It's not like he's been cruel and destroying her life from the inside out. He's still able to function how he was programmed to, so what if he had his own conflicting thoughts and emotions? It made him more human to her, but at the end of the day he isn't human. It was all so confusing. She easily saw what he meant when he said those things, but at the same time, she didn't really care about all that stuff.
Wanting to try something, Y/N placed a hand over her heart and let out a long breath as she closed her eyes, steadying the beats. She thought about certain moments shared with her SQUIP that made her happy or whenever he wore that proud look on his face when she did something right. Her pulse quickened with each memory, and eventually, she opened her eyes and turned her head to be met with the plush turtle he had won her at the arcade. Remembering that day brought heat and a smile to her face as she reached out to embrace it. Closing her eyes again, Y/N squeezed it to her chest and let out a wavering sigh.
