Traitor, traitor.

Chapter One ~ 10 years today.

Harry's POV ~

Ten years. Ten whole years, since the war had ended and everything had become 'normal'. He had to go to the ten-year memorial service, had to witness the names of all the people who had died at his failings, their names written in the sky in a beautiful display of magic.

He was going to need a drink for this one.

One shot of fire whisky was all he was going to need. Just enough to get him through the night. He heaved himself off of the sofa and half stumbled to the kitchen. His legs were throbbing with pins and needles. He managed to make it over to the cupboard without falling over. He opened the cupboard and just stared.

There were barely two inches left in the bottle. It had been full a week ago. He ran a hand through his scruffy hair trying to push it out of his eyes. Damn. He had never drunk this much when Ginny had still been here, would never have dreamt of touching a bottle of this stuff on such an important night five years ago. Times changed though, and now he knew he would need it. Just for tonight. Just for now. After this, he wouldn't touch a drop of this stuff ever again.

He took the bottle and almost slammed it down on the counter. Shaking he managed to grab a glass and pour about an inch into it. He downed it in one.

Immediately he felt the warmth spread through his body and he felt instantly happier and more content. He swept his hair back again and looked out the window, only his reflection gazing back at him. God, he was a mess. He looked at the clock. He had about an hour before he needed to leave. Sighing heavily he took himself off through the house to make himself presentable.

                                                                                     ~~~~~~~~

The air glistened with the happiness of all the people there. People smiled, laughed and joked. Something the people they were here to remember would never be able to do again, because of him. He spotted Andromeda. She waved and led the little boy with her over to Harry. "Harry! Hello dear. Teddy's been very good haven't you darling?" The little boy nodded and grinned up at Harry. "When am I coming home, Uncle Harry?" He questioned, eyes wide and innocent.

Harry smiled softly at the boy. "Soon kiddo, soon" Hw turned to Andromeda. "Is it alright for him to come home on Wednesday? I need a few days to clean up the house? Obviously, I can take him sooner but-"

"Oh hush Harry. I can have him for a few more days. Come grab him whenever you're ready. I'm going to take him over to see Neville and his gran, I believe Neville managed to get one of those mimbus mimbletonia and he promised Teddy he could have it. Goodness knows where he gets his love of plants from, Nymphadora was never one for nature. Anyway, Harry, I'll see you in a few days. Ta-ta."

Teddy gave a small wave and scampered off after his grandmother. Harry wiped a quick tear from his eye. He needed to sort himself out, for Teddy. 

He wandered through the dark cobbled streets and looked around him as he did. The bonfire lit in the middle of the memorial square gave everyone within the distance of its flames a mellow orange glow. He stopped. The naming ceremony was beginning. 

Sparks of magic flew up in the air as everyone in the square lit their wands and held them aloft. Some people gave their children their wands and held them on their shoulders. Excitement gave a glow to everybody's faces, illuminating the square.  Harry stood alone, a space around him. Cold air blew onto his face and stinging the wand arm he held aloft. 

The naming ceremony began. Names were written in the sky, too many to count. Written with something like an invisible sparkler and fading just like their lives had. People cheered with each new name that came up. Some people who had actually known the dead, the heroes, just cried silently. Harry did anyway.

The ceremony was soon over and the crowd milled around with a buzz of warmth in the air. Harry slowly lowered his arm and just stood, staring at where the names were written. It was over for another year. He needed a drink.

No, he told himself sternly. You do not need a drink. You are fine. Will be fine as long as you don't see- 

And there she was. Hair glowing just like the firelight, face lit up and shining. Arms around Dean's neck. His arms around her waist. Just like a movie. Harry stared and stared, but she never turned around to notice him. Never even glanced his way. She pulled away from Dean and her mother placed a baby in her arms.

It was not Harry's baby. Not his, even though it had been born and conceived when Harry and Ginny had been married. Tears stung his eyes like little poison darts and he had to turn on his heel and walk away quickly, pain being his motivation, urging him to run, run, run. 

The old story came to mind. Run, run as fast as you can you'll never catch me I'm the gingerbread man. Tears poured down his face and he walked quicker, doing anything to get away from them all.

He came across the stall section of the market. It was bustling with people, parents chatting idly and children scream-laughing. He wiped his eyes and slowed to a stop around the fire-whisky stall. He quickly purchased a bottle, laughing and joking with the seller. 

He paid, left and let the mask fall away. He turned down an alleyway and held the bottle in his hands. Really what was the worst that could happen? He died of alcohol poisoning? Someone at mungos would find him and find a way to bring him back. They always bloody did.

Suddenly an overwhelming urge to just stop thinking and feeling took over him. He uncorked the bottle and just kept drinking and drinking, chugging it until he fell to the pavement in a heap, no longer thinking or feeling, just like he had wanted.

Word Count: 1042