54
Narration
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Like a surprise planned behind your back without you expecting, Fern having the chance to grow closer to Arkin was unexpected. He was curious, yes, something that is normal when you meet someone new. Right?
However, as Fern draws closer to Arkin, an uncontrollable rising of feelings is overwhelming him.
It's crazy how he does things he normally does not do to others. Like ditching billiard games with his friends just to accompany Arkin to the computer shop. Or spending his weekend over at the other's house to hang out, usually just them eating, watching a movie, or Arkin sharing his newly captured photos. It's all new to him, doing these things towards the same gender.
"Laro na naman?" Fern asked before taking a seat beside Arkin who's busy fumbling on his phone, eyes are focused on the screen and fingers tapping violently but with expertise. One thing that Fern knows about Arkin is that he's fond of online games. He's really good at it, actually.
"Last na 'to."
Fern often heard that line. Since when he was in grade 8, the first year that he met Arkin until now that he's a 10th grader. Last na does not really mean last for a gamer like Arkin. Unless he would drag Arkin to stop playing, the latter would do. However, oftentimes Fern would just patiently wait.
Fern lightly shook his head before he got the drink he brought outside. He placed the straw on the chocolate drink before putting it right in front of Arkin's mouth. The latter caught the straw in between his lips and sipped on it without glancing to the man holding it.
It's a familiar routine, they often do it. Fern serving Arkin such as food especially when the latter is playing. It's not new to them anymore and they're already used to these things. Sharing food, drinks, clothes, and other personal things. Three years of their friendship really build a lot for the both of them.
Especially to Fern Dale.
A question lingering on his mind that until now he got no answer.
Am I attracted to boys? In particular, am I attracted to Arkin?
It's bothering him.
The feeling of liking someone.
Because if he recall, he has never got an interest to someone so deep. Be it girls or boys. He doesn't pay attention to that kind of thing.
But now, the feeling that's lingering for his friend, could it be possible?
Fern sipped on the same drink Arkin drank. After, he sighed from the deep thoughts before he positioned his head to the table, supporting it with his arm. He's looking at Arkin who's still playing and whispers random curses every now and then.
"Talo ampota, fucking bobo," Arkin curses in frustration as he put down his phone.
"Bibig mo."
Arkin sighed heavily before he copied Fern's position, facing the man. They looked at each other's eyes as they stayed silent.
Fern couldn't read Arkin, but he wished to. He stared so much with a silly hope that he can see Arkin's feelings about him or anything that could clear up his mind.
But of course, he sees nothing.
"Sa tingin mo ba I'll be a good lover?" Fern asked out of nowhere that it caught Arkin off-guard.
Arkin stayed silent for a moment and stared at Fern to see if he's joking but judging by the empty response from the older guy, he realized that it might be a serious question.
He thought for a while.
"I think so."
"Why do you think so?"
"You are good at taking care of people. Especially those who are important to you," Arkin answered.
"Naaalagaan ba kita ng maayos?" Fern asked.
Arkin blinked at the question. He wasn't able to answer immediately.
"You are the most important person to me right now. Sa tingin mo ba magiging maayos akong kasintahan sayo?" Fern asked again.
Silence occupied the two of them. Eyes staring at each other, observing and waiting.
Hearts thumping loudly; one for each other, both beating for Arkin.
It's uncontrollable.
Owning a heart for it to thump for another person. Fern couldn't deny more.
He's growing feelings for his best friend. But was it deep to be pursued? Will it be worth it for all the risk that he might possibly take?
It's a gamble.
Following his heart will cause him everything.
By everything, he means his relationship with Arkin.
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54
Narration
