Burned (Chicago Fire Fanfic)

The Cold Hard Truth

Severide's POV

"How's the girl we took in?" I asked Casey. Matt Casey was one of my fellow firemen in the house. He was the lieutenant for truck 81, I was the lieutenant for rescue squad 3.

Casey leaned back and exhaled loudly. "I guess she was saying that she was okay with dying now that she didn't have anything to live for. At least that's what Mills heard her say."

I was surprised by that. She was a young, beautiful girl. She had plenty to live for. "Doesn't she have a husband?" I asked, remembering her mumbling about some guy named Tim when we first found her and remembering the ring on her left hand when she covered her mouth after vomiting blood.

"I think she's a widow." Mills said quickly. Peter Mills was the paramedic in charge for our firehouse. "I heard her mumbling about a guy named Tim while she was drifting in and out. She was asking why was she the only one left. That Tim and McKayla were gone. Why couldn't she be gone too."

I looked down at the paper I was reading. "That's too bad." I took a sip of my coffee. "She's so young."

"24." Brett chimed in. Brett was the other paramedic. "I'm going to visit her tomorrow while we're off shift. It must be terrible for her, being completely alone after losing a baby. She was drifting in and out on the way to Chicago Med. Saying about Nebraska and that Tim guy again. About an accident. I don't know, she was really out of it."

Casey sat up straight. "Sounds like it." He said. "I think I'll go with you tomorrow to see her."

She smiled at Casey. "Thanks Lieutenant."

"So," Cruz cut in and put an arm around Brett's shoulders. Cruz was the driver of truck 81. "What's for dinner?"

Cruz and Brett were like a thing right now.

I chuckled. "Whatever Brett wants to make."

She looked at me and rolled her eyes. "Severide, you can make dinner tonight."

I took another drink of coffee. "If you guys want mac and cheese and hot dogs. Or I can order a pizza. I'm useless with cooking. You all know that."

Brett rolled her eyes again. Even more dramatic but in an obviously playful way. "No way!" She shook her head. "I'll cook for the sake of the house."

I stood up and walked over to her. I patted her back as I walked past. "Thanks, Brett." I then walked out of the kitchen to my office.

I had to do some paperwork on the wreck with that young girl. The one who lost her baby. God, I felt terrible about that. If I would've known sooner, I would've focused on getting her out way faster. I couldn't help but feel responsible.

I was doing some paperwork on the case when I heard a soft tap on the door.

I didn't even look up. "Come in." I said quickly as I scribbled down the accident report.

"Lieutenant?" I heard Brett in the doorway.

I spun around in my chair and locked eyes with her.

"Yeah, Brett?" I put my twittled the pen I had in my fingers.

She stepped inside and closed the door. "We just got a call from Chicago Med."

I nodded, straightening up in my chair. "About that girl?"

"Yes," She bobbed her head up and down. "She just came out surgery. Looks like she's going to be out in a week."

I grinned. "Thank you. Anything else?"

"Yeah, actually," she paused and took in a deep breath. "I think you should come with us to see her tomorrow."

"I'll pass." I said curtly.

She shook her head. "Kelly, I think you should go too."

I growled. "It's Lieutenant." I was getting annoyed with this. I didn't want to visit her. To see the woman who just lost her baby.

She replied stiffly. "I know you don't go visit patients usually, but she's alone!"

I shook my head. "I have a doctors appointment tomorrow. I really can't go."

She exhaled in annoyance. "God damn it, Severide!" She said with impatience.

I stood up. "Watch it, Brett!" I warned. "You're stepping out of line."

She stood up straighter and looked me straight in the eyes. She wasn't even phased by my change in tone. Brett was usually quite and obedient, but for some reason, she wasn't about this.

"Kelly Severide, why won't you go see her?"

I softened. "Because everytime I visit a girl who's around my age, she ends up trying to take me out or sleep with me. I just don't want to get personal with anyone I rescue."

I used the only excuse I could think of. I had dated girl I had rescued before. It resulted in her trying to get me to raise someone else's baby.

She threw her head back and laughed hysterically. "Come on, don't flatter yourself." She stopped laughing. "This girl is a widow who just lost her baby. The last thing she wants to think about is who she's going to sleep with next!"

I sat back in my chair. Shit. She was right. But I couldn't go. I couldn't save that baby. It's my fault she died. I couldn't visit her mother.

"Please." I hesitated. "I can't go see her. I'm sorry. It's just too much. I could've saved her baby," I chocked on my words. "But I didn't."

Brett's furious eyes softened dramatically. "You'll regret it if you don't go." She insisted.

I shrugged. "That's a chance in willing to take."

She snorted in disbelief then turned to leave. "Just let me know if you change your mind."

"Mhmm." I mumbled then turned my attention back to my desk that still had unfinished paperwork. I tried to do the work, but my thoughts were stuck on that girl. The terrified look in her eyes when she realized her baby was in danger. I also thought of how she looked at me in awe as I tried to calm her down.

I huffed and threw my head down on my desk. I wasn't going to be able to concentrate while thinking about how I fucked up.

"Kelly?" I heard Casey in the doorway of my office now.

I lifted my head. "Yeah, Matt?"

He walked over and threw a hand on my shoulder. "It's not your fault."

I bit my lip. "Shay would've been able to save her." I swallowed hard.

Casey shook his head. "Severide. You did everything you could. You can't save everyone."

I shook my head. "I can't stop replaying it in my head. Where did I go wrong? What could I have done differently." I sighed in frustration.

"Nothing." Casey said sternly.

Maybe he was right. Maybe there really wasn't anything that I could do.

"Thanks, buddy." I told him.

He nodded with a small smile. "I'll see you at the apartment after shift?"

I shrugged. "Probably not until later at night, but I'll be back."

Casey looked away towards the door. "Alright, Kelly, but tell me if you need anything. Anything at all. I know with Shay dying and no losing this baby is hard for you. But if you need something. Please, don't be afraid to ask. I'm here."

I looked back down at my paperwork. "I know, Matt." I avoided any emotional stuff. "Thanks. I'll see you later."

Shift would be over in the morning. I would most likely finish this report, go to bed then go home in the morning.

And I did just that. I finished the report about the crash. The woman throwing up blood, her stomach looking a horrible buised and purple color, loosing the baby. I finally finished it at 11:00 pm and went to bed.

But that night, all I could dream of was Shay, like usual. But what was unusual was I dreamt of that woman too and a cold, blue baby girl.