Little Boy

Chapter 3

Derek Shepherd

I kissed her I kissed her unbelievable right? I walk back in the house surprised but proud with myself. "Took you long enough" I hear snapping myself out of my thoughts.

"What?" I ask.

"You were out there for awhile" Kathleen says.

"Yeah she said bye and I just kind of stood there" I say.

"Why?" Amelia asks as I sit down.

"I don't know, doesn't matter anyway" I shrug.

"Derek you do realize that she's twenty-five and you're seventeen" Kathleen says.

"I'm not an idiot Kath" I say rolling my eyes.

"Just saying that would be technically illegal because you're still a minor" she shrugs.

"Yes I'm a minor but technically I won't be in a little under a week" I say.

"Yeah he's basically an adult already" Amelia says.

"But legally he's not" Kathleen says.

"What is this about?" My mom asks.

"Nothing honestly I have no idea" I say staring down at my plate.

"Derek why don't you go upstairs" my dad says.

I nod and walk upstairs, I don't know what's wrong with me. I have feelings for Meredith and for al I know I'm being used, I'm very sensitive and I cry a lot I felt like I was going to break down at the table. "Kathleen your brother is sensitive you know that" I hear my mother say as I walk up the stairs.

"Maybe he should man up" I hear.

"Kathleen, he has bad anxiety, he's anti social, doesn't have friends except for Mark and he gets bullied can you cut the kid some slack I'm surprised hasn't got depression" I hear my mother list off that's when I stop listening and continue to my room.

I sigh and change into a pair of pajama pants but don't put a shirt on. And I lay on my bed staring at the ceiling so many thoughts running through my head but the main thought is Meredith. The way she apologized.

And my mom's words. I might not I have depression but I thought about killing myself. I never done anything but I've thought about it. I held a knife to my wrists but I chickened out so I put it away. The knife sits in my nightstand just in case things get bad enough.

I know cutting my wrists won't necessarily kill me maybe holding a gun to my my head would be more accurate.

But that short time I was with Meredith intimate or not all those thoughts flew out the window, but then she left like she did so many years ago. She mentioned at dinner she's moving in the new house in two days. Maybe I'll be able to see her more and maybe all the dark, twisted thoughts I have will go away when I see her, she's just so perfect.

I have to stop whatever happened in my room because technically I'm a minor and she's an adult so it's illegal and people would be saying how she's grooming me, which she isn't, I hope.

Soon I'll be eighteen in just a couple days Derek Shepherd will be eighteen. I'm in my senior year and I'm graduating soon also I'm one of the younger ones in my grade.

It's already April and we get out of school May 27th so yeah...one of the younger ones but the ones in August are the youngest but that doesn't matter I'll be graduating and going to college soon. I never really thought about college far away so I'm just going to go to a state college close to home and my parents are okay with it but always tell me how much potential I have.

I have always had a passion for photography I don't think you need to go to a giant fancy well known college for that but I don't do much research I guess college as always been the least of my worries.

"Are you okay?" I hear and look to see someone leaning on my door way a concerned look on their face.

"I'm fine" I say looking at the wall wanting to disappear from the world my eyes are red and puffy and I have tear stains on my cheeks and side of my face.

"Derek" they say again.

"You're not real go away" I cry.

"That doesn't mean I can't help you" I hear the 'person' raise their voice.

There is nobody here I'm just seeing and hearing things it's like I hallucinate I don't tell anyone about them, usually it starts good and caring and the person is always Meredith always. Then she starts to raise her voice and be mean and then it's not Meredith anymore it's Jason my bully at school.

"Go away go away go away" I repeat out loud.

"Derek, wake up" I hear and I realize I cried myself to sleep and it was another dumb dream.

"Mom?" I ask.

"Who were you telling to go away?" She asks.

"Just a bad dream mom" I say.

"I'm taking you to the doctor tomorrow about theses dreams" she says and I nod.

"Why don't you clean up and get in a better mood before falling back asleep" she says rubbing my arm.

"Yeah okay" I nod.

"Okay" she smiles sadly kissing my forehead before leaving my room.

I sit silently before getting up and grabbing my camera, the sun has already set and tonight's a full moon. I crawl out of my window and sit on my roof and take a few pictures of the moon before crawling down. I love taking pictures at night maybe because it's peaceful at night I don't know.

I just need to clear my head.

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954 words

I know you guys have been waiting since it first came out but this one might be a little slow updated maybe not depends on what story I decide to write same on my other stories.

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