Meredith Grey
It's been two weeks I am still in boxing the small things but other than that I'm fully moved in. It also means that Derek is eighteen, I was there for his little birthday thing but I distanced myself. I just thought maybe this is all just lust I don't feel anything but lust towards him so, if I distance myself it will go away. Except nothing I felt for him has left maybe if I just distance myself for long it probably just hasn't been long enough.
Except at the party I couldn't stop staring at him the way he smiled and the way his eyes light up when he saw me but I couldn't go and hug him like I wanted because like I said 'it's probably just lust' but he's stuck in my head the way his face dropped when all I said was happy birthday not giving him any hug or physical touch.
He just thanked me then went off somewhere with Mark I think. I felt horrible and tonight I invited them over the whole Shepherd crew which is a bad idea but Kathleen says it's a house warming party or whatever so I invited them all Kathleen's siblings and parents even their kids and spouses, this is going to be a rough night but I need to speak to Derek tell him the the thing in is room was a mistake and to not hope on it happening again. That kiss is a different story it felt amazing but again probably just the lust.
They will be coming in about three hours and I can't cook but Kathleen said they will all make things like a pot luck but I felt bad and she told me it's fine and not to worry all I had to do was make the main course, what does she get from 'I can't cook' I love Kathleen but she can be a little knocked in the head that's why Matthew is good for her he keeps her in line.
I hear the door bell and furrow my eyebrows because they aren't supposed to be here for another three hours but I go to answer it. I open the door to reveal Derek, Derek Christopher freaking Shepherd.
"Derek, what are you doing here?" I ask.
"You can't cook" he says.
"I know you don't have to rub it in" I roll my eyes.
"I've known you my whole life, Kathleen is a dumbass. You. Can't. Cook" he sighs.
"You're point is?" I ask.
"No wonder you and Kathleen are friends, Meredith I'm going to help you cook" he says.
"Oh" I say still not moving.
"Yeah, can I come in?" He asks.
"Oh yes, yes of course" I nod opening the door more so he can come in.
"Thanks" he sighs walking in.
"Yeah, you're welcome" I breath.
"So, where's the kitchen?" He asks.
"This way" I say walking to the kitchen.
"Do you have any brats or hot dogs because I could grill that to make things easier but I wouldn't have to make those now, I would make chicken but that takes almost all day to thaw out" he says.
"I don't have anything to feed you're family Derek" I sigh.
"That's okay I'll just go to the store, uhm you have beer right?" He asks.
"Yeah, I have beer" I nod.
"Good, uhm do you want to come with or no?" He asks awkwardly.
"No, I have no idea what I'm looking for I wouldn't be much help" I say.
"That's fine, I'll be back in a bit" he says before leaving.
"What just happened?" I ask myself out loud.
---
About twenty-five minutes later the door bell rings once again. "You're back" I say.
"I told you I would be" he says.
"Yeah you did" I say letting him in.
He only had one bag of things that he sat on the table. "Okay so I got four packages of brats and one small package of hot dogs because I know Gracie and Landon don't like brats" he says.
"Okay, Derek you really don't have to" I frown.
"Already bought it" he says.
"I guess you did" I sigh.
"Got a big bowl?" He asks.
"Yeah" I nod and get it from the cupboard.
"Thanks put it in the sink" he says and I do so.
He opens the fridge and grabs a beer and the brats. "What are you doing?" I ask.
"Making beer brats, don't worry they don't taste like beer or anything we just soak them in it" he says.
"Okay" I nod.
He ok it's it all in the bowl and turns to me "done, I'll come back later" he says turning around to leave.
"Derek" I say.
"Hm?" He hums facing me.
"I'm sorry" I say.
"Sorry?" He frowns.
"About your party and how I avoided you and about the day in your room where I practically forced you to let me touch you, it was a mistake, I'm sorry" I say not looking at him.
"Okay, so what about the kiss was that a mistake too?" he asks I look up and see the hurt in his eyes.
"No, Derek, that was definitely not a mistake" I say.
"So you let me kiss you, then avoid me?" He asks I see his eyes gloss over I know he's emotional he has been, forever.
"Derek it's not like that" I say desperately.
"I'll be back later" he says.
"Derek it's not like that" I say my eyes glossing over but it doesn't matter because he's already gone.
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939 words
Please help me, Merswifey is scaring me.
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