Scared of Falling in Love

Unexpected Company

Once Mr. Nicolas dismisses the class, I, at the fastest paste possible, put my brushes in the sink, put my basically untouched painting on the drying rack, and rush out of the door. I don't bother waiting for any of my friends to walk with to our lockers. I absolutely need fresh air. I couldn't take another moment of being in class while my brain takes another trip down memory lane. I'm actually feeling pretty nauseous. I make my way towards my locker which is, thankfully, not too far of a walk from Mr. Nicolas' class. I open my locker and quickly reach for the door for support, hoping that it would help with my nausea. I put my art notebook back in my locker and stuff the books I need for next period in my backpack. I close my rusty old locker and slide down against the lockers so that I am sitting on the cold concrete floor , pulling my knees closer to my chest until it touches my chin.

As I look up, I see Lily approaching me, which I'm really thankful for. It'll give me a chance to apologize for how I treated her in art. We didn't talk for the rest of the period. She tried talking to me, but I just ignored her and stayed at least four feet away from her, aside from the times I needed to use one of her paint colors. I knew she was just trying to help me, but whenever someone brings up the past, I just lose it and become an emotional wreck. I shake my head at the thought of my rudeness towards her.

        The whole Nate situation actually gave me a small case of anxiety. I'm just scared that I'll never be able to love someone and be loved the way authors portray it in their books. Why do authors have to set the expectations for adolescent boys and love so high?

          Lily opens her mouth to say something, but is suddenly interrupted by Mason approaching her. "Lily pad", he says pulling her close. Such a cheesy nickname ."You wanna grab some brunch in the cafeteria? They're serving your favorite", he says with a smirk that somewhat matches Lily's. Lily practically squeals with excitement. "Breakfast burritos?! Lets go before they run out! Talk to you later Giselle!"

I start to respond, but she's already running to the cafeteria, holding Mason's hand.

I continue to sit alone for another minute until a pair of Nike free-runs approaches me. I look up and see Jaden Garcia looking down at me with his hands in his pockets and that gorgeous smile he's had since the 6th grade plastered across his face. We were put in the same group a few times and became pretty good friends. Then, seventh and eighth grade came around and we got put in different classes. The most we do now is occasionally exchange friendly smiles in the hallways on our way to our classes. He's actually quite the looker, and is pretty clueless about all of the girls that practically drool over him, but I'm obviously not one them, and I doubt that I ever will be. I don't want to repeat what happened in the past with Nate, and I most definitely am not going to let myself.

"Mind if I sit", he asks. Usually I'd pass on the opportunity to sit alone with a good looking guy like Jaden, but he's an old friend so I guess no harm could come from a quick chat. Besides, I really don't feel like being alone right now. I nod and smile. His smile softens as he takes a seat, probably relieved I didn't tell him to go away making him deal with the embarrassment of rejection. I don't know what to say. I'm not a very good conversationalist. Luckily, before I get the chance to say something completely random and awkward, he breaks the silence.

"Are you okay? You're not your usual happy self", he says with one of those laughs you do when you see something funny on your phone screen, which is basically just blowing air through your nose. "I'm fine", I say putting on a smile which actually isn't fake since I'm actually really grateful for the company. "Just took a bumpy trip down memory lane. That's all." Suddenly calm, I take my knees away from my chest and assume the crisscross applesauce position. I slouch as I exhale, running a hand through my hair, and continue to look forward, avoiding the awkwardness of eye contact.

"Oh are you talking about the whole Nate incident thing?"

I whip my head toward him, shocked as to how he could have possibly known that. "How did you-" He doesn't let me finish. "Giselle, the fact that you and Nate were together isn't a secret, you know", he says. Well I obviously knew that. "But how did you kno-" Again, he interrupts me by saying "and Nate and Scarlette's relationship wasn't much of a secret either. You and him together for that long and all of a sudden he's with Scarlette? It wasn't very hard to piece together the rest of the puzzle. Besides, I think you're you're forgetting that the majority of the eighth graders were at the dance when he kissed her. You were obviously heartbroken and it seems like you still are", he says with softness in his tone. Although, his expression is unreadable. My eyes get big as I quickly jump in. "There's obviously some sort of misunderstanding here. I'm not still hung up on Nate. I've totally gotten over that a long time ago and-", I stop just in time to realize that I'm sharing a very personal thing with him. Even though we may be considered friends, we're not close enough for me to just be blurting this out to him. "Wait. Why am I even telling you this. This is very personal", I say confused with how comfortable I felt sharing all of this with Jaden. "I was wondering the same thing", he says - that eye catching smile appearing on his face. He must've caught me staring because he's looking at me, one of his eyebrows raised in an arch.

"Don't flatter yourself", I say, playfully punching his arm. I can't help but smile.

"So"- his smile has now turned into a smirk- "are you going to finish telling me your story of what's actually keeping that smile of yours off your face", he asks, clearly begging to hear the rest of my story. "Depends", I say. Shortly after I say that, the bell rings, signaling that third period is about to begin. When the bell comes to a stop he stands up. "On what", he says putting his hands out, offering to help me up. I accept the offer. He pulls me up from the ground pretty easily, which is kind of surprising. "Thanks", I say as he hands me my backpack. He nods and smiles before picking up his own. As we start walking to Ms. Clementine's class, I respond to his question.

"Well as you know, trust must be earned."

"Mhm."

"And considering the fact that this is the first real conversation we've had since the sixth grade."

"Very true."

"You must earn your trust", I say trying on Lily's smirk, which I know isn't working for me.

He returns my look with a not so serious cocky smile. "Is that a challenge?"

"Oh no Jaden. Of course not. Friendship is not something you get because of a challenge. It's something you must actually want", I say.

"Why do you think I walked up to you today, Giselle? I obviously want your friendship", he says with a smile and a bit of sarcasm in his voice. I chuckle in response. "Nice try Jaden, but sucking up won't help. You and I both know you walked up to me earlier because you felt sorry for me." He gives me a surrendering look. "Okay okay fine", he says, along with a little chuckle. "I can't argue with that one, but I am glad we got to talking. This could be the start a beautiful friendship, Giselle." I chuckle at his comment. "Wrong", I say. He looks up at me confused then asks "What?" Instead of answering, I just stare at him waiting for him to realize it for his self. He moves his eyes from side to side, looking at me like a crazy person. I give up on the stare after the long period of silence, showing that he has absolutely no idea what I am talking about. I roll my eyes. " You're statement is wrong. This wouldn't be the start of our friendship."

After a few moments of thinking, he responds in a bright tone "ah yes! Sixth grade. You know you were a pretty good partner, especially since you did most of the work, Miss 4.0 student." He nudges me and gives me his famous smile before saying good bye and heading off to his class.

I can't help but smile back before walking into class. His smile. It's pretty contagious.