Butterfly Graveyard (z.s au)

31

*UNEDITED

Harry cuddled up to Zain, resting his chin on Zain's shoulder, smiling fondly as he watched Darcy squirm in Zain's lap.
"She's adorable," Harry murmured.
"Yeah," Zain agreed, pressing a gentle kiss to Darcy's button nose.
"She looks just like you," Harry breathed, poking Darcy's cheek. Zain shrugged, looking her over.

"I guess," Zain mumbled. "I still think she'll have your eyes."
"Yeah?" Harry encouraged. He sat up, wrinkling his nose as he did so, rubbing his chest. "My chest is sore."

"I'm sorry baby," Zain said, kissing Harry's cheek.

"It's fine," Harry stood up. "I'll be downstairs."

Harry made his way downstairs and into the kitchen, pulling out the breast pump and setting it up.

After a few bottles, Harry stopped. He set the bottles in the freezer, closing the freezer with a sigh. He took a seat on the couch, bringing his knees up to his chest and playing on his phone.
"You okay?" Zain asked as he came down the stairs. He sat down next to Harry on the couch, rubbing his back.
"No," Harry muttered. "I'm exhausted and I feel sad."
"Why?" Zain frowned.
"I dunno," Harry shrugged, turning off his phone and letting it drop on the couch. "I just feel super sad. It's probably these stupid pregnancy hormones."
"I'm sorry baby," Zain kissed the corner of Harry's lips. Harry just blinked slowly, letting Zain pepper kisses all over him. "We need to finish packing for your mum's, baby. Don't forget."

"Okay," Harry sighed, leaning into Zain. "I don't want to get up get yet. Can we cuddle?"

"Of course." Zain wrapped his arms around Harry, kissing his hair. "I love you, you know that?"

"I love you too," Harry kissed Zain, wrapping his arms around Zain's neck. "I just feel sad. I don't know why. And fat. This stupid postpartum belly."

"You're not fat baby." Zain mumbled against Harry's cheek. "You look gorgeous."

"No," Harry muttered, hiding his face in the crook of Zain's neck. He began sobbing, and Zain felt his heart break into a million pieces.

"Baby," Zain whispered, rubbing Harry's back. "It's okay, baby."
Harry rested his head on Zain's shoulder, tears still streaming down his face. "I'm sorry," Harry mumbled. "I didn't mean to cry."

"It's okay to cry, Haz." Zain soothed, kissing Harry's shoulder. "Are you okay?"

"I mean," Harry breathed as he pulled away from Zain, looking down at the couch, "I'm okay, but I don't like my body. I feel fat and stupid and I feel like I'm stuck in this endless loop of waking up, caring for Darcy and going to sleep."
"Baby." Zain wiped Harry's tears with his thumb. "I'm sorry. You just had a baby, Haz, your body is healing."
"I know," Harry wiped his tears, looking Zain in the eyes. "I just hate that I feel insecure and I guess that's what's making me upset. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cry."

"It's okay Harry." Zain kissed the corner of Harry's teary eyes. "You've been working out too, baby, you don't look fat at all."

Harry just shrugged, leaning in to wrap his arms around Zain's neck again. He wrapped his legs around Zain's torso, and the couple just sat there in silence until Darcy began to wail. Harry got up slowly, making his way upstairs to care for her.

💜

"Hey," Zain sighed as he answered the FaceTime call from Waliyah.
"What's wrong?" Waliyah frowned.

"Nothing," Zain shook his head. "Harry's just been... kind of down lately. He's just not in the best mindset right now."

"Oh," Waliyah flashed Zain a sympathetic look. "I'm sorry to hear that."

"It's whatever." Zain shrugged. "What's up?"

"I was just calling to see how you are." Waliyah said. "Are you going to Harry's mum's for Christmas?"

"Yeah, we were supposed to be packing but some things happened." Zain said slowly. "We'll hopefully be down there soon."

"Okay, well I wish you both the best of luck," Waliyah smiled, wrapping up the call. "Love you, bye."

"Love you too," Zain said as he hung up.

💜

Sorry I kinda feel like I'm reflecting my feelings into these chapters and I probably shouldn't but I am anyways 😭

Darcy literally have my whole heart, I love her so much 🫶 💕

But then I remind myself she's not real and then I cry over a fictional baby that I'm completely obsessed with 💀 mentally unstable at it's finest

Also I ditched my friends and the school dance because there are better things to do, aka write this :)

Anyways I pet some cows today! :D

Hope you enjoyed! 💜