You Make Me Feel (When I Feel Nothing) | Jenlisa [COMPLETED]

Chapter 17

April, 2022

She really should just talk to her. It would be that simple. She can just bring it up. "Hey Lisa, are we just messing around because I'm not down for that?" but of course she's not going to do that. That would be too simple and she's too scared of the answer to actually do it.

So instead she's broodingly contemplating it as she stares out her gallery window. Of course this advancement in their relationship is already massive; perhaps Lisa needs to ease into the relationship idea because this is something delicate between the both of them. She can understand her being so scared of the change... Jennie's a little scared of the change.

But those words are still echoing in her head "I'm not in love with her." almost like it's trying to haunt her. She knew things would be slow with Lisa, they always have been, but she wasn't expecting her to say that... and to say it with such conviction. It did kind of hurt.

How can she still be waiting? After everything, how is she still possibly waiting? It's not fair, it's not fair that she feels that word in every bone in her body even when Lisa isn't with her but Lisa can so easily deny the feeling all together. Doesn't she feel it too? She has too; it wouldn't feel like this if she didn't. She has to feel it; Jennie doesn't know what she's going to do if she doesn't... if all of this is happening and Lisa doesn't even want her.

Lisa wouldn't be with her like this if she didn't want her right?

The answer is no, Lisa isn't like that. She may not be perfect but she'd never do that to her, not to Jennie. She cares too much about her, does love her even if she isn't in love with her. Jennie's her best friend. So why would she do something that would really hurt her? That just wouldn't make sense, just doesn't sound like Lisa.

She really should just talk to her about it. Just see where she is emotionally, mentally. Maybe she needs more time but Jennie doesn't know how much longer she can keep waiting, how long is too long? At some point you have to let go if it doesn't make any sense anymore, and if Lisa isn't in love with her, then this wouldn't make sense anymore.

Lisa (4:44 P.M.): Ur coming home after work right?

Lisa (4:44 P.M.): It's been 7hrs but I miss you

Normally a text like that would make her smile, especially now. Normally, if she hadn't overheard that phone call, she'd be smiling so big it probably would look almost unnatural. Even now, her stomach flutters at the mere text. But the same elation she had come used to feeling at the anticipation of spending time with Lisa wasn't there. Instead it was masked by dread... when would Lisa tell her that she doesn't want her anymore?

When was enough, enough?

She didn't reply right away, instead shoving the phone in her back pocket with the will to use the excuse that she had only been busy... of course she wasn't busy. Not today. Today not one person had come into the gallery, today was simple. She was only watching over Hanbin and her other staff as they set up for the upcoming gallery event. The place wasn't even open for costumers or viewers. Everyone was too busy.

Everyone but her. She pulled her phone back out.

Jennie (5:01 P.M.): I'll be staying late :(

She didn't need to stay late, but she didn't want to go back to Lisa right now... even though she did. She always wanted to be with Lisa, but the thoughts in her head were on the tip of her tongue and she was too afraid to say them. Because then that would be it wouldn't it? She already knows Lisa's answer to all of her emotions.