Five Shadows

Chapter Ten

I worried I overslept the next day, so well-rested was I, but as usual, the clock said 6:17. But even well-rested Nora didn't love Monday mornings. I found my coffee already made and piping hot. Something told me Simon didn't leave after he said good-bye. "Simon?" I called into the apartment. But I knew he wasn't there. The aloneness of the place was dull. He had brightened my apartment a bit, being here. Shadow #1 had too. I supposed that's what friends did to a place. Made it a home. I wondered if living spaces could bank hominess. Like when Gwen used to come over, did my walls absorb our friendship to sustain me during my loneliest days? If so, I hoped it was soaking in the shadows energy too. Except The Murderess. She could keep her toxicity.

Simon's words echoed in my ears. "We are literally dying to help you." I put a hand on my hip in the mirror. I still didn't like being pressured to change. But. Maybe I could allow one small admittance. Maybe I wasn't "perfectly happy just the way I am," as I'd insisted. He wanted a little change? Maybe I could sacrifice something small. My appearance. Maybe I could make an effort with my appearance. It's a whole heck of a lot easier changing my surface than it is to rearrange my heart.

I would start with make-up. It didn't escape me that my current routine made me look... well, dead. The sexy vampire look was fine for some people, but looking dead made me feel dead. I would soften things up a bit today. Clothes were harder. I did a deep dive into the back of my closet and found some pants that miraculously still fit. Like, they actually fit. Not the boxy, hanging off me, ugly pants I wore every day with a belt cinched so tight, the pant tops popped like a blooming onion around my middle. Gwen left a mustard yellow top at my house and I took the liberty of putting it on. I was a little bigger chested than her, so it stretched more than I would have liked, but it would do.

"There!" I said to Simon, wherever he was, "It might not be the change you were looking for, but it's something, right?"

It's not like anybody really sees me at work. I only talk with customers on the phone and I mostly sit in my cube all day. Carol gave a curt, "Good Morning," as she walked by my cube. She was all business again today. Gone was any semblance of the thoughtful woman that offered me soup on Saturday. I couldn't remember the last time I'd initiated a conversation with her. I waited until I heard her hang up with a customer. "Thank you for the gift card, Carol."

"You're welcome. Glad you're feeling better."

"Yup."

Well, that was pretty painless. My phone rang just then and I was thankful I didn't have to pursue that conversation. "Cutter Co." I answered.

"Nora? It's Abby."

"Abs? Why are you calling me at work?"

"You aren't answering your cell! You haven't been for two days! I was worried!" I shoved my hand into my bag. Dead.

"Oh. It looks like it's dead."

"Nora! Good grief. You scared me!" My sister was panting. I imagined her rubbing her forward the way mom did. She was a spitting image of her, with her strawberry blonde hair and heart-shaped face. Her eyes were always excited, like she was keeping an awesome secret. And mom often was. She'd drive past school, all of us with our backpacks and lunch boxes, and announce. "We're playing hooky! Let's go to Six Flags instead!" And zoom past our friends honking the horn as we waved and bounced in our seats. We never suspected a thing because her eyes were always little sparkly exclamation points, like any moment could be a wonderful surprise.

I looked much more like my dad.

"Sorry. I'm fine," I said. A puff of air blew hard into my ear.

"Good." A long pause. She was trying to tell me something.