Five Shadows

Chapter Nineteen

"Hiiiiiiiii!" Morgan did a little dance in the foyer. Were her dimples deeper than last time I'd seen her? Her curls boingier? I swear she got cuter every time I saw her. Which wasn't very often. Was she even talking last time I saw her? I shrugged off my shame and scooped her up for a hug, which she reciprocated for a nanosecond before kicking her legs to get down.

"Where's your mom?" She pointed upstairs. "Hey Abs! I'm here!" I hollered up. She thundered down the stairs. She was dressed for company, but a sheen of sweat blossomed over her face. She gave me a one-armed hug, while fanning her other face.

"Thank you for coming. Is it hot in here?" For all her stress yesterday, the house was completely spotless. I followed her into the kitchen where she had wine chilling and store-bought snacks laid out prettily. My "best" container wasn't going to cut it.

"Do you have a bowl for these?"

She ate one and closed her eyes. "Ohmygosh that's good. Yes. Here." She thrust a bowl at me and I put them beside the grapes.

"What do you have chilling?"

"A Chablis? And Merlot." I inspected the bottles, then headed to her wine rack and grabbed a different Merlot. I was no sommelier, but I knew at least a thing or two. I swapped out the Merlot for another red and rubbed my hands together.

"It looks great in here. What's the big deal anyway? Isn't book club supposed to be just... fun?"

"Ha! No. 'Book Club' is just code for 'truculent judgement of cleanliness and homemaking skills' actually. But you're cute."

I cringed. "Sounds... awesome."

"Yup. Pretty fun. Thanks for helping?" It was a question, like she still wasn't sure if that's really what I was there to do.

"No problem. Morgan and I are going to hang out, maybe go for a walk." The doorbell rang. Abby smoothed her skirt. "Starting now! Have fun at book club!" I took Morgan's sticky hand and let her lead me to her playroom. Abby answered the door and started talking in a voice high enough to pop a helium balloon. Jeesh. It seemed exhausting to be her. I wasn't exactly living my dream life, but Abby was living hers and it did not seem that awesome.

Except Morgan. She was a blast. She was also bossy. "Let's play ponies. I'm Sugar."

"Okay. I'll be Cookie."

"No, you're Fluffy. Gallop!" I galloped. "Faster!"

By the time we were done with ponies I understood why Abby was sweating. Morgan was better than any fancy cardio trainer on the market. "Okay, what do you say we take a break? This pony is tired."

"I want cheese."

"I like the way you think. I'll be back."

Women were talking over each other downstairs. Each seemed giddy with liberation from their kids and from hosting this ridiculously stressful event at their own homes. I peeked into the living room and saw my sister, the epitome of hospitality, filling glasses, clearing plates, refilling the snack tray. I saw the bowl of nuts was gone. I hope they wowed the guests. I was struck by how lovely my sister was. In her pristine white home with its warm décor. She nailed the balance between nice and pretentious. I remembered my dead succulent. And Simon's comment about my bare walls.

With two cheese sticks in hand, I jogged back to Morgan. "Morgan? Will you make me a picture?"

"Of a pony?"

"Sure. Anything. I need some art for my walls." She had a lot of Abby in her, I could tell, by the way she immediately got to work. Holding the cheese stick between her teeth, she pawed through a desk drawer, unearthing crayons and paper. I watched her work. She was taking her assignment very very seriously. Her tiny eyebrows dipped and dived around her forehead in concentration. She grunted occasionally when something seemed to go wrong.

"Ta-da!" She yelled finally. The paper was a mess of colors. "It's you, me, Sugar, Cookie." She pointed to what I guess were drawings of herself, me, Sugar, and Cookie.

"It's perfect, Morgan!" I reached out to take it, but she yanked it out of reach.

"What do you saaaaay?" She sang. Wow. She really was just like her mom.

"Oh. Please. And thank you."

We played until Morgan began to yawn and I with her. I helped her into her pajamas, we brushed her teeth and then I crawled into bed with my niece.

"I'm happy you came," she told me. "You're fun." She threw a soft, squishy arm over my neck and that's how Abby found us when all her guests left. She giggled in the doorway, then gently lifted Morgan's arm so I could duck out.

"The good news about her not napping is that she goes to bed really quickly at night."

"How was book club?"

"Good. I think everyone had fun."

"Sounded like it. I heard lots of laughing."

"Everybody loved the pecans. Thanks for bringing those." I took my container and lay it by Morgan's drawing as I started putting my shoes on. "You should bring some to Tim's."

I groaned. "Tim is getting something store-bought."

"You're coming though right? Then we'll go see Dad after?"

"Yes to Tim, no to Dad."

"Nora! How come? You can't hold a grudge forever, you know?"

"Sure I can."

"He's our dad," she informed me as though he were king.

"Exactly. He's our dad. So why did he treat us like such garbage? Why did he land himself in jail instead of making an honest living for his wife and children?" I tied my sneakers too tight in my anger, but the pressure on my feet felt good. I double knotted them and pulled tight as punctuation. "I didn't come over here to argue about him, Abby."

"Why did you come over anyway? You've never wanted to 'help' me before. What's the catch? Do you need something?" She softened a bit, "Do you need help, Nore?"

Fury raged like a flashflood in my veins. "You think you're the only one that can be of any help, Abby? That I've got nothing to offer? I was being nice, okay? That's all. So no, I don't need help." I snatched up my container and picture. "Tell Morgan I had fun hanging out with her. I'll see you later." My sister stood under her chandelier, hand on hip, tears in eyes, but didn't say anything more than, "Yeah. See you later." If it weren't for Morgan, I would have slammed the door, but I settled for a firm shut. It locked just as firmly behind me.