Shadows: A Six of Crows Fan fic

Chapter Twenty-Three: Inej pt. 1

Inej stared out into the sea and watched as the now gentle waves lapped the sides. The sun gleamed on the horizon as inched closer and closer to the water's edge. The sky was so clear and calm that it was hard to believe only hours ago they'd been in the middle of a raging storm.

That a man had died.

Lightning flashed in her mind's eye as the scene played out in front of her again and again. Shouting for her crew to hold fast, watching the wave grow bigger and bigger by the second, feeling her heart seize when instead of listening to her, Kaz rushed across the deck towards Jesper. Inej had tried to steer the ship so the wave wouldn't crash too hard across the deck but it was pointless in the end. Her saints had blessed her enough to keep the ship from capsizing but three of her men still nearly went over. And one of Dawa's did.

When the wave had receded, they'd tried to look over the edge, tried to call out into the storm for him, but their voices were snatched away by the wind and the man was nowhere to be seen. The remaining five of Dawa's men were now below deck holding a vigil for the man. They refused to do anything more the rest of the voyage and Katya, their leader, had already threatened Inej about what consequences there would be. Inej shivered just thinking about what might happen.

Since coming out of the storm her mind had been scrambling to find a way to tell Dawa that wouldn't get one of her crew dead. So far, she'd found nothing.

The scene kept replaying as again and again the wave washed over the side of the ship. One minute he was standing there and the next he was gone. Again and again, all Inej could do was stand there and watch. Helpless.

"Inej," a rough voice shook her out of her trance. She looked away from the horizon to see Kaz standing beside her, a hand hovering just an inch above her shoulder. She hadn't even noticed him approach.

"Hey," Inej rasped. She cleared her throat of the ball that had been forming there.

"Inej, you've got to let go of the helm."

Inej gave him a look that said all needing said to his comment. His hovering hand fell to his side.

"I know, I know. But you should for your crew's sake. It's been almost half a day since we got out of the storm."

Inej turned back to look at the open water. "I'm just fine Kaz,"

"You have to be exhausted. Let Specht take the helm for at least a few hours. Even the best of Captains need rest."

Inej opened her mouth to deliver a retort, deny her tiredness, but then she saw the pleading in his eyes. He was trying to reason with her, worried about her own health. Kaz Brekker didn't reason with people, he did what he wanted and commanded or conned others into doing the same. Inej's eyes shifted to the deck below where Specht was standing to the stairs leading to the helm. He was throwing glance after glance up to them, worry etched into his own features.

"You got your ship out of the storm," Kaz said. "Your crew will be safe sailing the flat waters you've brought them to, but if anything goes wrong, you'll be the first to know." This time, Kaz reached an ungloved hand up to her arm and rested it there reassuringly.

At the touch, her mind flashed to moments in her captain's quarters. Memories of breath, the softness of skin, and the heat of another body. Inej's cheeks flushed and her stomach twisted. She looked over at him then and she could see in his eyes the worry for her there. Their roles were now reversed. Inej was now the one masking her pain with unneeded responsibility and Kaz was now the one trying to talk her down from the edge of herself. The resistance in her snapped as she released a sigh.