Guardians Book One - Magic Rising

Chapter Twenty Three

Walking back into the cottage was one of the hardest things Kath had ever done. Even at the door, Alexander politely holding it open for her, her pride and shame caught lumpily in her throat, making her pause.

"All humans err," said the Lord of Light, quietly, in her ear. "Do not fear."

Easy for you to say. You're a god, practically. And you haven't 'erred'. Lady – she's terrified of failure - she hates it. D'you know that, I wonder?  She glanced thoughtfully up at the side of Alexander's lined, tanned face, but there was nothing but a patient smile there.

She bit her lip, and straightened her shoulders, stepping over the threshold.

Pes was waiting for her. "Kath! Thank the Lord you're alright." He hurried forward, his deep-set eyes concerned, and slapped her shoulder lightly. "We could feel you...feel what was going on. Lady is asleep, but she managed to get word to Our Lord..." he jerked a short bow in Alexander's direction. "I'm so glad you came back. And...you know what? I knew you would." He grinned.

Kath felt her eyes stinging again. Ugh, embarrassing! She swiped away the grateful tears with the back of one hand and managed a smile back. "Yeah, but...I still..." She exhaled hard through her nostrils. "I cocked up, didn't I?" She shook her head. "Don't be nice, Pes. I know I was stupid. I wasn't thinking. When I was out there...and it was coming for me, that thing, Night, I...I got what Lady meant. The focus thing." She stared at the tiled floor, and added, very quietly, "Is she...alright?" I nearly got her...killed.

"She's fine," Pes said. "Vicky is with her. She's just tired. You know..." His expression turned a little awkward, and he glanced momentarily at Alexander, who was looking out of the kitchen window. His voice dropped slightly. "She is very strong. But she can't make things from nothing, like the rest of us. She just had to pull out everything she had, and it took a lot of her energy." Louder, he finished, "But she is fine, just fine. Sleeping it off. More than able to cope."

Alexander was still looking into the herb garden, ostensibly ignoring the conversation. Not for the first time, Kath wondered for whose benefit Pes' brave words were. Alexander...does he feel guilty about what happened to his kid? To Lady? He never calls her by name. Not once. And I bet that's not just for protecting identity or whatever.

"Good," she said aloud. "And..." The phrase trailed off, but Pes must have read in her face what she was thinking.

"Of course she doesn't hate you," he said. "She was angry and afraid, but she doesn't hate you. It's OK." He smiled again. "You're about the first human friend she's ever had. She told me, how grateful she was you didn't hate her, once."

Kath flushed, thinking of the office. If we ever get back to real life, I'll make them give her a proper chance. If she's giving me another one for being an idiot, especially... "And...I'm ready. I think. I want to learn properly. I'll try hard. To...learn about fighting and magic, I mean."

"You're almost there," said Pes, nodding. Kath raised an eyebrow at him. "Really,"  he insisted. "Once you..." His smile became teasing. "Calm down a bit."

"Engage my brain, you mean," Kath gave a small laugh, and he shrugged, laughing with her.

"I didn't want to say it..."

"I don't mind," Kath said, rather ruefully. "It's true, right? I don't know if I entirely deserve a second chance."

"Just be patient," Pes advised. "And...don't underestimate yourself, or...overestimate. You have a gift, but it still takes work. Getting it wrong doesn't mean you've failed. And getting it right doesn't mean you've won, either." He gestured to himself. "Look at me. I'm a monster. And I don't always get it right. It's part of what I am...the magic I have. Cures don't always work." His smile turned a little bitter. "Being on the side of the light doesn't really suit what I'm meant to be."