Guardians Book One - Magic Rising

Chapter Thirty Three

When Kath knocked on Lady's door later, clutching the sympathy card envelope awkwardly, it was Pes who answered, and he was alone. He gave her a small smile.

"I'm afraid you've got a new sparring partner for the day," he said, letting Kath in. "Magic lessons. No combat." He pretended to flex his thin arm muscles, and Kath grinned.

"I've left Day having a roam. She'll be back in an hour or so. Where's Lady?" she asked, relieved and upset at the same time. "We, uh. At work. They got a card for her. I don't know if I should give it to her. Will it just...upset her more?"

"That's really kind," said Pes, taking the envelope and placing it on the top of the bookcase, propped up so Lady would see it when she came in. "And honestly? I think she'll be pleased. Even if she doesn't show it." He smile fell slightly. "She's out tracking down the river. She's convinced something'll come. She wanted me to meet you, though. She hopes you can help her track, still, soon." His lips pursed. "When we're done I'll go and find her. I don't really like the thought she's out alone. Not that she isn't capable. Far from it, hah! But right now..."

"She shouldn't be by herself," said Kath, nodding. "Nah, I agree."

"She wouldn't stay, though, and I can't force her...but..." Pes waved a hand, clearly upset. "I'm not hurt, nothing like that. I understand. I'm just..."

"Worried," finished Kath. He rolled his eyes, apparently at himself.

"Ridiculous, isn't it?"

"Not at all," said Kath, wondering how to approach this. "I mean...you're...you've been together a long time."

"Almost all our lives," he said. He gave a self-deprecating little sniff of a laugh. "As you know."

Kath flushed, remembering the Dream vision. "You know she doesn't see you as..." She flipped a hand expansively. "Day and I were talking about this earlier, actually. What makes a person a person, a human, even. Or a life, at least. A...soul, I guess. That spark of energy that is...always there, no matter what changes you go through and stuff." She trailed off. "I'm shit at philosophy. But I know Lady sees no difference between you and her. And really? I don't either. Not now. God, sorry. I suck at this."

Pes managed a smile. "You're doing fine. And I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought about it, over and over. She deserves...a human life, though. And I'm not human. A living being...maybe. And look at me. There is no getting away form it, is there?" He held out his boiled, scarred hands. "If I'd want anything for her, it's that she gets the chance to do things normal people do. I can't give her that."

"I reckon...she'd rather be with you," said Kath, bluntly. The unspoken words even if she can't for long hung in the air. She mentally swatted them away. "And you aren't...I mean. I'd have thought the Guardian of Pestilence would be a right bastard."

Pes burst out laughing at that. "Hah! Well. Thanks. Since I guess that means you think I'm alright! But...something you must understand is that actions are choices. And magic is entirely neutral. Understanding pestilence is to understand healing. I could have focused on the former and not the latter...but I chose not to, for many reasons. Some – personal. Some inherited. And some...because I live in this world, too. I look at suffering. I take no pleasure in it, even as I know it is a part of life, which is how I survive...being me, being what I am." He glanced away. "I was...angry, for a while. Especially because – she is beautiful. Lady. And how dare a thing like me...well. But...you are right. She never acted as if she noticed a thing, even side by side in a mirror. And I made myself spend time among humans – in the night while she slept, in the time she was at school or in places she needed to be alone – to understand them. A lot of the Guardians think themselves too good to mingle with humans. They forget humans made them! But I did, and I saw...everyone has flaws, and suffers. Pain is universal. Dwelling on it doesn't help you move past it. So I'm happy to be with her, while I can be, however I can be. Even if it is not...how I might wish. Happiness is what you make it."