The Mirror

Suck My Ass It Smells

"Suck my ass it smells" that my friends is the motto of Ilsa and I's friendship. Through thick and thin we will always be friends no matter what. Ilsa is my sister, my best friend, and the funniest coolest bitch ever. My best friend Ilsa knows me better than anyone and thats how she instantly realized that something was wrong. I walked into Leavitt Area High school with fresh slits on my wrists, I could feel the blood flowing down my arm and the life draining out of me. "Carli? whats wrong you look kinda pale." "I know Ilsa, I am in a bad place right now. I need help. Mental/Emotional help." I look her directly in the eyes and almost fall, she catches me in time and brings me to the bathroom and into the stall. "What the hell happened? whats wrong?" She looks at me worried and scared. I don't want her to be mad at me, she thinks I stopped. I didn't I kept going I never stopped. How could I my life is falling apart piece by piece, first Alan, then Nona, now John. John's mad at me and so is Nona and Alan just... I don't know about him its confusing. All of it its so much stress I couldn't handle it I had to. "I'm fine Ilsa I just don't feel well thats all." it wasn't a complete lie I don't feel well just for more intense reasons than I will let on I will not be weak. I can be a ruined soul, a broken heart all I want, as long as I don't show it.

----(couple days later)---

"I see you eyeing Nick ;) " Ilsa laughs at me for staring at Nick Hathorne. Truth be told I like him, I do, but I love Alan and I don't know what I want anymore, I don't know if I want a relationship, if I want to stay single, I don't know anything anymore. One of my best friends, John, has been bitching me out a lot lately and been calling me a major whore and saying I'm all over him. John is jealous that I like Nick, John likes me, and him and Nick are best friends. I'm so sick of drama honestly, I think I am gonna run away... I have enough money, I could get a one way ticket to London, or Ireland. "Carli! The new guy is here! Look he is soooooo hotttttt!" Ilsa nudges me and I look up. I see a toned white guy wearing a tight white shirt showing off his muscles, he has black pants on and supras, his hair is blonde and from all the way over here I could see his beautiful blue eyes. "Mrs. Stone, the new student is here get over there and show him around please." I nodded and walked away from Ilsa and Mrs. Dow.

"Hey, I'm Carli.. and you are?" "Hi I'm Niall, did I hear a irish accent from you?" I blush and nod "I used to live in Ireland, I was born there, but we had to move here a couple years ago." He nods and smiles "So many americans around, how is your accent so strong?" I shrug "I don't know my whole family is Irish so I guess because i'm around them a lot." I smile and look at him. "So where's your first class?" I question as the bell rings. "Mr. Baher..? I think thats how you say his name anyway" he chuckles a little and hands me his schedule. "Yeah, Mr. Baher! Yayy you have class with me! then after math just follow me you have almost all of green day classes with me." I smile brightly, and he fist bumps the air. We walk to class and make conversation through Math class and English. Then it's time to go to HPT. "Okay so you have Mr. Gentura, he is right next to mine, you can come into my HPT if you want." I say looking at his schedule. "Yeah that sounds cool!" He smiles and opens his mouth as if he is going to say something but he closes his mouth changing his mind. "What lunch do you have?" he asks looking at the ground and glancing up at me in one of the most sexist ways I have ever seen. "I have the same lunch as you" I smile and I see him smirk.

"So Carli, I think the new guy likes you" Ilsa says slapping my ass "Nah I doubt it we are just friends." I brush it off and shrug thinking of Alan. "Besides I'm not ready for a relationship." I mentally slap myself for letting her know that. I'll never hear the end of it. "Really? I thought you were over Alan?" she says quizically, I shake my head and say "No." She nods and is silent for a little while before speaking again. "Why didn't you tell me?" she asks quirking an eyebrow. "I don't tell anyone about how I'm feeling Ilsa, don't feel bad there our millions of things that I don't tell you, or anyone" "Why don't you tell me then? Your my best friend, you can trust me." She says embracing me, "I know but I don't want to feel weak." I say and then quickly change the subject.

"So how was your day at school today?"