Fruitless - Lashton

II

II

-

"I'm more relaxed than you'll ever be. Let me know once you finished reading all the books in the world if you've found what you're looking for."

Luke thought that was one of the most absurd things he had ever heard anyone say. Even more absurd than what the man had just taught his students. He couldn't believe that it was even allowed. How can you teach someone that there is the possibility that noting exists, that nothing has any meaning?

Luke understood what he was saying. Of course, there is every chance they are living in a simulation. But, why can't literature and morals and everything still exist and have meaning? Literature had so much meaning to him. And while it may be subjective, that didn't mean it wasn't real for him and the other people in the world who felt the same way.

This was the first lecture Luke was going to give. He only had two classes this year. He hoped to take on more next year. But for now, it gave him more time to do research and read all the books in the world to prove the man wrong. This lecture he was going to be giving for two terms. It was about literary theory — an essential part of literature. He would talk about the basics, and then if they liked it, next term they could choose to another course taught by him where they went into more niche subjects.

As he introduced himself to the class he felt a rush of excitement fill his body. This wasn't what he always wanted to do. He wanted to be a writer. But that was difficult. And being an academic still meant he got to write. And got to study. He couldn't think of doing anything other than reading and learning about literature. It was the only thing he enjoyed and ever felt he was good at.

He had heard someone say once that literature provided travel and experience to those who weren't privilege enough to experience it. And of course, some people didn't even have the privilege to read or own books, but literature still opened up more doors than before. Not only can you travel to different countries through books to see and appreciate other cultures, but you can also step into other people's shoes and experience injustices. Victorian readers got to experience Jane's suffering in Jane Eyre through Bronte's writing and modern readers got to understand how characters like Bertha Mason was treated. And although this was not Bronte's main aim, new meanings can be found over time as different eyes cast their way across the page of such fiction. And thus came Wild Sargasso Sea.

Luke suddenly felt guilty. As soon as he began to introduce the topics they were going to learn and give a brief summary of them all he realised how little time an hour was to cover so much information. He understood that words came out of your mouth and you couldn't stop them when you were passionate. And while he didn't care one bit about what that other man was saying, he felt bad for trying to stop his passionate rambling. He wasn't going to apologise, but next week he wouldn't be as stubborn if he overran.

Luke didn't have many people to ramble his thoughts to. Not people who wanted to hear about his love for books. So he usually just wrote them down and saved them for when they were necessary. He loved preserving information from his brain. Memory wasn't always reliable and if it were written down he could find his thoughts again. His friends cared more about his life — even though his job and literature were part of his life. But they cared about his love life. His non-existent love life.

Every time they met up for drinks they were trying to find a nice man to set him up with. Sometimes Luke would agree and go on a date but it never went any further. He didn't mind dating. But one date was always as far as it went. Luke couldn't let anyone into his life romantically because he knew eventually they would disappear. So he would go on a date, return home alone with his books. And then the next time he met his friends he would do it all again. He didn't mind. Sometimes he was lonely. A companion would be nice. But Luke knew it was impossible. He was destined to be alone.

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Ah really need to get used to updating again!!

Feeling kinda depressed because a guy on twitter commited suicide because of masters funidng etc and just thinking about how much I'm gonna struggle financially do study something I really want to often makes me feel the same way. I'm currently working two jobs and will have to study at the same time. Like why can't unis lower their fees! I've had to move home with a emotionally manipulative mother just to pursue my interests - it's such a crazy world!

Anyway apologies for the rant! But this is something I care deeply about and I suppose it's a glimpse into my other style of writing!

How is everyone

Thank you so much for reading!