Did you know that,
Believing there is even a
Possibility that you're in town
Is enough to send my heart
Racing.
My stomach plummets,
The air rushes out of me.
Because this is my safety.
My home.
My place.
And you have invaded it,
As you always have.
Did you know that,
I look in the mirror terrified
That one day I'll see a reflection of
You staring back at me.
That pieces of you are
Hidden away in me somewhere
Waiting for the right circumstances
To trigger them out.
Did you know that,
I don't want to remember a
Single day of my childhood.
It's all tainted by you, by him,
By the memory of who you both are.
By the loss.
By the grief.
By the trauma.
I don't want to fucking remember!
Did you know that,
You still live in my nightmares.
In the dark corners.
In the walk from my car to my house.
In the brief second of silence when I
First get into my car to start it.
I check the backseat,
Afraid you might somehow be hiding there.
I am afraid of the world, because of you.
I am afraid, because of you.
I am, because of you.
What if I am you?
YOU ARE READING
I Was Once a Sunflower
PoesiaThis poem collection will be about who I used to be, searching for myself, and living when I didnt want to. They are sad, this description serves as my trigger warning.
