I Was Once a Sunflower

that girl thanks you

And I thought to myself
"Ah, so this is what it feels like
To breathe"

Sitting in your passenger seat,
I learned how to open a car door
That had no handle

Hours of just driving around,
Adventures, a world I had never seen
I fell in love with it all.
With you.

Your laugh was contagious,
And that stupid lopsided grin.
Seeing it would make my heart melt.
I saw you.

Noticing things, observing, it's what I do.
Always have been good at it, I told
You this a lot, but I don't think you
Realized it included you too.

So when I had finally listened enough
To point out the things you didn't
Think were true about yourself,
To tell you were determined
And valuable and a good person,
I wonder if it made you afraid.

Or if maybe you just thought I was
Blowing smoke,
The same way you do when you're
Puffing out after inhaling your cigarettes, a dragon in human form.

I see people.
Work hard to understand them.
To figure out their perspective, and why.
I fell in love with the person I saw in you.

The one who made sure their friends ate,
And went to work.
That they were safe.
Got home alright.

The one who believed they were ordinary,
But lived life to the fullest.
Who would get sad and angry,
But never show it.
Who gave up drinking and
Turned their entire life around
For themselves, no one else.

The one who was so at peace in the outdoors,
Who worked until they had exactly what they wanted.

I fell for you.
Sitting in that passenger seat,
Listening to country music,
Driving around at 4 am,
And never sleeping,
I fell for you.

And I have realized over the last few days,
That while I was falling,
You were standing still.
Pulling back.

I am overwhelming,
And I get comfortable way too easily.
And I pay too much attention.
And never stop talking.

So maybe that was all too much for you.
With you, I felt like I could always be myself without judgment.
Maybe I overestimated how much of myself was not worth having.

Because while I will never be afraid
To show my love,
I will also not fight for someone to love
Me in return.

But regardless, I wanted to thank you.
For showing me pieces of the world.
For reminding me what it was like to
Go out on an adventure
For pulling me out of my house, my head and pushing me into the world of the living.
You let me breathe.
And for that, I will always be in your debt.
Though I wish I could have experienced more of life by your side,
Hearing that goofy laugh,
I hope you find your peace.
I hope you find the person you are looking for.
And most of all, I hope you stay happy.

And with that being said
I am signing off on this adventure, one final time,
Forever and Always,
That Girl.