-When you are 13, do not try to end your life. You have lived in hell, this is undeniable. But there are so many experiences you haven't had yet. You have not lived your best day, keep looking for it.
- When you are 14 and he is 23, he does not love you. Imagine if it were the other way around, wouldn't you think that was a little odd yourself?
-When you are 15, do not have sex with someone who tells you they "just don't want to go to college as a virgin". You are a mission for them, not a love interest. Anything to get that body count up.
-When you are 15 and you realize that you were raped, do not blame yourself. Do not trick yourself into believing that all these awful thoughts you've had for years are true. They are not. You did nothing wrong, n o t h i n g.
-When you are 16 and crying in the upstairs closet because suddenly all you can think of is how sharp is a kitchen knife really, just keep crying and stay very, very still. The thought will go away, it always does.
- When you are 17 and suddenly have no sense of identity, don't stop doing the things you love. Some of them you will never get back.
-When you are 17, please stop having sex with any person who makes you feel loved. You don't need sex to make them stay, and they do not love you anyways. Actually, please just take a hiatus from sex.
-When you are 18 and download Tinder in the summer, please do not fuck any of the boys you meet. Even if they drive 45 minutes for it. You will not meet the love of your life on Tinder.
-When you are 18 and going off to college, do not believe the first boy you meet there when he says "I will love you forever". He is lying. Also, please stop dating seniors as a freshman, why do you keep doing that?
-When you are 19 and so unbelievably unhappy... well, don't give up. Someday, we will be okay. Put that razorblade away, you've been clean for years so don't ruin your record now. Stop dropping off of the face of the earth to your friends. They do care about you, but you need to stop pushing them away.
-When you are 19, please remember to love yourself and your decisions, because at the end of the day that is what matters. YOU are what matters. You have to love you, even when it is hard and your body betrays you at every step. Just keep on keeping on.
Always and Forever,
The girl who will write herself letters.
YOU ARE READING
I Was Once a Sunflower
PuisiThis poem collection will be about who I used to be, searching for myself, and living when I didnt want to. They are sad, this description serves as my trigger warning.
