you belong with me | Louis Partridge x Fem Reader

|57|

timothee pulls back.

"y/n we can't do this, you should go to bed it's getting late," he says under his breath.

"i'm sorry" i whisper.

i got up from his lap and hurried upstairs.

"y/n please i didn't mean it like that" he yells back.

i ignored him.

...

i really do hate myself. i hate the way my hair falls beside my face and the way my eyes glisten in the sun.

i hate waking up and looking in the mirror to see my least favorite person staring back.

from the way my chest rises and falls when i breathe to the buried emotions i've been too lost to confront, i can't stand any part of me.

i really am afraid of myself. i'm afraid the words i speak are not the truth and that i've forgotten who i am.

i'm afraid nothing will ever be enough to make me feel whole. from the way i can barely contain my shame to the nightmares that come alive in my head every night, i wish i had the courage to

accept myself.

monday morning and i still haven't talked to timothee. i've tried all weekend to try to avoid bumping into him.

jade came to pick me up for school.

going into the cafetira before first period i see everyone.

will,jaeden,finn, louis and kami.

how embarrassing it is going to be going to sit with louis after i made that speech the other night? and may i mention i was half drunk?

"hey" i said sitting down with jade.

they all start talking and there is louis with kami fliting with each other. and by the looks of it he looks annoyed.

i hate being the second option. i wish i was someone's first choice someone that you think of when you see something funny. i want to be special enough to be someone you want to be around.

i hate being the second choice someone you talk to when your first choice is too busy for you.

It's so odd how after someone detroys you're heart, you can still find the good in them, and that's the problem with people like me, forgivers.

No matter what people do to us, we always find a way to let them in again somehow we can't help it, we just forgive.

even when we shouldn't.