Incollati Insieme

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Regrets, guilt, heartache... That's just a few words to start off how I feel. I regret not being able to save Rowan, for not thinking fast enough to stop the bleeding, I regret ever leaving her. Guilt consumes me as I've never known before, heartache sneaking up on me at the slightest reminder of him, the slightest reminder of her.

If turning back time was a thing, fuck! I know I would have turned back time a long time ago, but as the saying goes. Dreams come to true... until they crash and burn. At least that's how the saying always turns out for me.

I spend most of my time now taking out hits for the Italian mob, Vincent Grey runs it and I'm close pals with his younger brother Dante, we are like family after all the time we've known one another. I'd even go as far as to say we are like brothers but after losing Rowan I could never give someone else that title. Dante gets it though, after all, he did lose his sister. The pain of a loved one is one thing but the pain of a sibling? It's like when you go to start your car but it won't start, you don't know what to do so you go to get your brother. He's good with cars, surely he can fix it, right? And then it hits you like a wound-up fist to the chest. Like a heavy weight that just sits there, gravity can't bring it down and for a second you freeze up. Grief and 'why him;' pops into your mind but you have to try to push it aside and do it on your own. Because they are gone and even a man of all trades can't magic him up.

The past is hard but if I don't find her, I don't know what I'll do with myself. That's why as the fresh air of the country roads fills my chest, I head towards the track, praying she's here.

Working my way around the whole of the huge field I passed by loads of people from all sorts of organisations, loads of smackheads looking for their next fix and the occasional loners, like me. My chest tightened, and memories, so many many memories crept into my mind. Clenching my fist I approached Rike, an occasional racer and well-known informant for the right price.

"Rike," I chin lift at him, getting his attention.

A flash of surprise came across his face, "King? Long time no see mate."

I give him a stiff nod in reply, "Nova grey, name your price, and all the information you have." I waste no time and get down to business.

He sucked in a breath with a frown on his face, "sorry pal, no one has seen her around here in over a year."

I narrow my eyes at him as he goes back to his conversation as if I was never here, "This is her fucking track and you're telling me she hasn't been to it in over a year?!" I say in a low tone holding him by his collar stiffly.

"Yes yes Jesus fuck man, I'm telling you no one has seen her in ages she went dark man." He sputters with his eyes wide open, talk about a complete waffle.

I push him away from me, fucking spanner.

I high tail it out of there, jumping back into my car and speeding off to her mom's place, maybe that dumb bitch can tell me.

"Fuck!" I kick her back door in frustration. The whole house is boarded up, I would say the place looks deserted but the shit hole has always looked like this. I boot her back door in not giving a fuck anymore, I go through her house and notice the shattered glass, shit left of drugs and random bottles lying all around. I take in a sharp breath at the blood-stained floor, no. Please fucking NO, don't let it be what my worst nightmare is.

I pass the living room hoping that I get some good clues from upstairs and go to her room, It's empty, bare. The wallpaper and carpeted floor are a complete 180 from the rest of the house but it's completely empty aside from the rest of the house. I pull my hair in frustration, slumping down to the floor, "fuck!" I let out frustratedly and bash my head back on the wall a few times. It hurts but it's nothing compared to the mental side of things.

Tears run down my face but I don't care, the sound of my ringing phone brings me out of my 'feeling sorry for myself' moment.

"Hello?" I say gruffly down the line.

An important meeting, war? What the fuck happened while I was gone, Possible allies with the English?

The fuck?!