The Summer I Fell

her light

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The morning of the debutante ball had arrived, the mirror in Jewel's bedroom reflecting the sunlight streaming through the window. Jewel adjusting her clothing on her body, a cloud hanging over her this morning. She couldn't envision herself in the white gown, dancing at the deb ball with Jeremiah after everything that had happened. She knew she was in too deep to dig her way back out of the hole she had made for herself, but part of her wondered how bad it would be if she had told Laura and Susannah she wanted to drop the debutante ball. The last thing she wanted was to upset the two women who cared after her every summer, especially after everything they've done to prepare her for this moment. Jewel's eyes glanced toward the dress hung on display on her closet door, the girl biting her lip anxiously. She wanted to make her mom proud, but it was hard when she didn't have any signs to work with. A normal mother in Cousins would be at the deb ball, clapping while sending their daughters proud smiles for the performance. But Jewel couldn't have that, at least not in the same way. She had Laura and Susannah, but despite their best efforts and caring nature, nobody could replay Jewel's mom in her eyes. Jewel could hear footsteps traveling toward her bedroom door, her attention quickly turning away from the mirror as somebody knocked.
"One second!" Jewel called out, hastily wiping the tears from her lash line as Susannah and Laura opened the door. Jewel kept her back faced toward the women, pretending to be getting her things in order as they walked up to her.
"Hey, it's almost time to..." Susannah spoke, her words coming to a halt as she saw the redness that took over the usually bright white parts of her eyes.
"Hey, sweetie. What's wrong?" She asked, her hands reaching out to grab Jewel's arms lightly. Laura's heart dropped at the sight of the girl's teary eyes, seemingly already knowing what she had been crying about.
"Nothing." She lied, forcing herself to grant the woman a weak smile. They could see past her lie though, they always could, it was one of the gifts that come with being a mother. Susannah gave Jewel a sympathetic look, watching as the girl's smile faltered. It didn't take but a moment more for Jewel to break down, the small crack in the glass spreading throughout and finally shattering within her. Susannah pulled the girl in for a hug, her hand running through Jewel's soft brunette hair, as Laura stepped forward to join the hug.
"This is about your mom isn't it?" The woman asked, feeling Jewel's small nod against her chest.
"I just hate that she's not here to watch the fireworks or go surfing with Conrad and I...or to watch me finally do what she had waited years for. Nothing this summer has gone right, and I can't help but to feel like it's because she's not here." She spoke, pulling out of the grasp of the two women to sit on the edge of the bed.
"Honey, she can see you." Laura assured her, sitting down beside Jewel and pulling a strand hair back from in front of her face.
"I know that everything feels wrong without her here. I promise, you're not the only one who's felt how everything's off balance." Laura spoke softly, her eyes glancing toward Susannah for a moment.
"Your mom lit up every room she walked in, and it's hard not seeing her light now...but she's still looking over us. We can't see her directly, or hear her, but we can still feel her around." Susannah told Jewel, joining the two on the bed.
"We can still see her in you." Laura spoke, Jewel's eyebrows furrowing at her words.
"You look just like her, and we see her every time you scold the boys for doing dumb things. We hear her every time you and Belly laugh...and we'll see her tonight too when you walk out in that dress." Susannah laughed, a small smile appearing on Jewel's face. She reached forward to wipe Jewel's tears, not wanting the salty droplets to ruin her makeup.
"Thank you." Jewel smiled, not knowing she needed to hear those words now more than ever. The women wrapped her in a hug once again, Jewel feeling them hold a little tighter this time around.
"We'll see you downstairs." Laura smiled, following Susannah as she stood from the bed and exited the room.