Light my fire. (Steddie)

Chapter 3

He couldn't get the boy out of his head.
He had done so well pushing them all out but in one day he had managed to see and talk to two of them and now they are all he could think about.
Grabbing the trusty tin off of the table, he got what he needed hardly looking. It was muscle memory at this point.
He held the paper delicately and rolled it up into a cone in one sweep, placing it as gently between his lips. Lighting it as he sunk back into the couch.
Max's face wouldn't leave his head though. She had the same panic in her eyes at the sight of him yesterday as Dustin had on that night.
The guilt in him was insufferable. Even when he leaves, he still causes pain.
Eddie was too distracted by his thoughts to take control of his hand going for the knife on his belt.
Not feeling the lines being carved into the skin of his arm by his own hand.
It was also muscle memory at this point.

A couple of hours had passed and so had more weed also some beers had been introduced to the party but he wanted something else.
Just wanted to maybe see him. He knew this was drunk Eddie talking but it felt like a good idea.

Getting into his van, he hyped himself up.
"You got this man. You're good. You are gunna go in there, pretend to look for films and just see him and then you'll leave before he even sees you! The shop will be empty because everyone is meant to be at school right now! " This is a perfect plan he told himself with a slight smile.

Unbeknownst to Eddie it was actually 4.30pm and while he was correct that the kids were at school today, they had now finished and had gathered themselves in the video shop.
Most preoccupied searching for a collection of movies for their film night tonight except Steve and Max.
Neither of them looked like they could concentrate on their separate tasks. There was worry on their faces and confusion in their minds.
"So um have you by any chance heard from Eddie?" Max asked, quietly enough to not grab the attention of the others.
"What! No! Kinda... Why did someone say something?" He panicked. He didn't know why he had gotten defensive but he also didn't want people thinking he knew something they didn't.
"Kinda? Steve you either did or didn't? Spit it out" She was getting impatient now.
"I saw him. Yesterday morning when I dropped Robin off. I've never seen him really before but we were late because little miss sunshine couldn't get out of bed!" He muttered the last part, rolling his eyes as he said it.
"Steve!?" Max would of punched his arm by now if it wasn't for the fact she was curious on what information he had.
"Right yeah sorry yeah he was there in his van. I think he was avoiding me.... Oh changing subjects did you hear they've closed off the disused bathroom Yknow the ones at the back?"He was rambling out of pure nerves.
"Man I loved going there... good place for a hookup! Yeah Dustin said they found blood everywhere! Which is ab.... Ow!" He was cut short by a punch to the arm. He looked to find her no longer looking at him but now out the front doors.
"Max what's wrong? you've got a look to you..."
"Well I saw Eddie the same day as you but later... and well.. he looks like hell walking..." she fearfully told him.
"Eddie always looks like hell Max!" He answered with a smile but looking at Max there was almost tears in her eyes.
"No Steve.. just look.. " he followed her finger to where it was pointing out the window to find the bloody mess she was talking about.
"Oh shit!" He cursed before scanning the room to see if the other kids had seen the man outside.
"Max stay here, tell Robin I've had to go family emergency and keep the others away from the door until we've left. Please!" She nodded in confirmation that she knew her orders as Steve quick walked his way to the door in hope not to alarm anyone.

There was a moment where Steve couldn't breathe at the sight of him. He could smell the level of intoxication before even getting near him and Eddies face was also telling him.
Has he been crying? He asked himself. His eyes mapped the fragile man but there was so much going on that he couldn't pin point where to start. He knew he needed to get them both out of there and so he gently held Eddies shoulder to steer him to the passenger seat before coming back round to the drivers side.
Neither looked at each other the whole ride to Steve's. Eddie because he had passed out but Steve because he knew if he actually properly looked at the other boy, he probably wouldn't be able to stop which is no use when trying to drive.

Reaching the house, he was unsure how to go about getting Eddie into the house seeing as the last time he picked him up, Steve only just managed but then again he was feeling on the brink of death himself that day.
Scooping the unconscious boy up, he prepared himself for the struggle but it never came.
"No way have I gotten that much stronger since then?" He asked himself as he gently placed Eddie onto the sofa.

Gathering a towel and a bowl of warm water, he sat on the coffee table and started wiping the hair off the boys face only to be met with the grizzly details that Max had tried to tell him about.
His cheek bone was swollen with a small in size but deep cut shining proud on the high point of the bone, surrounded by hues of blues, purples and green. Looking closer he found smaller bruises of different ages in most high points of his face.
Only after a wiping the hair back further could Steve realise the full effect of how much more Eddies jaw and cheekbones stick out, his eyes then darting down further to the rest of him.
The once lean body was now being swallowed like a child in the big leather jacket.
Tears started gathering in his water line at the sight as he carefully removed the two jackets.
"Jesus Christ!" He yelled. His eyes meeting the mess of dried blood smudged on the boys arm with 5 long cuts being the cause of it.

Scrambling up off the table in a panic but he couldn't stop looking. He had never seen wounds like this. Obviously after the few years he's had, he's seen many injuries but never like this. This scared him. The thought of Eddie sitting there alone in his trailer doing this to himself made him sick.
"Oh god Ed's... I'm sorry" he cried.
With shaking hands he picked up the cloth and started cleaning the skin, a hiccuped sob escaping his mouth every couple of breaths.

The phone rang, pulling him out of his deep thoughts of guilt. Rushing up to grab it, nearly knocking the now brown water on the floor.
"H.. Hello?" His voice still thick.
"Steve? Are you okay? Max said family emergency which we both know doesn't exist?" She panicked.
" uh yeah Rob.. I'm fine.." he thought he was holding strong, he didn't want to worry her.
There was silence on the line until she replied softly " Harrington you're crying and that really worries me. I'll figure something out, I'm coming over okay?"
It was his turn to go silent trying to find the right words. ".... Please.. I don't know what to do. Help him" he sobbed.